Magic Is Brewing In The Studio

I've got a lot of new things brewing in the studio lately. Lots of exciting news and announcements will be coming in these next few weeks. A lot of collaboration pieces will soon be finished and published. My Tarot Deck will soon be available for pre-order and a lot of new paintings are on their way. I'm totally overwhelmed, and completely inspired. 

I was hit with an awesome opportunity that correlates with the dates on all the things listed above.. 

This February is going to be huge. 

But until then... I'm going to be locked away in the studio getting stuff done. 

Deadlines are so inspiring for me. 

I know last week I posted how I want to go about the deck slowly, and take my time, be inspired. 

But after getting a few more cards done, I looked through the sketchbook and realized, I'm way more than half way done! I have two more suits to complete and then some digital work to do. (My style has changed quite a bit from the first card to the ones I'm working on now!) So a lot of the Major Arcana are getting new faces, and I'm even redoing some of the cards completely. 

But, I really don't have that much left to do. 

So, in a month or so I will announce the preorder for the deck! 

I've decided to buckle down and finish a certain amount of cards per week. I feel it's a reasonable deadline.. just enough of a deadline to keep me inspired, but also comfortable. 

Last night I was chatting to Jenica about all the things I had on my pate.. And as Sterling and I drove back from Sacred City I had all of the things on my to-do list floating around my head causing all sorts of stress. We got inside the warm house and I immediately grabbed my book and made some coffee and took a nice long relaxing bath. Because I refuse to over work myself this time. I refuse to stress to where I get sick. If I'm going to stress out for the next 2 months, than I will most likely be sick for the 2 months after. 

I made a pledge to myself as I took on all this work.. I'm going to keep up on my meditation, bath time, and eat good foods throughout the day. 

I'm excited to finish these projects and offer them out into the world. 

Within the next month or so I will be announcing big news and the pre-orders for the Tarot Deck.

I'll probably use indie go-go rather than kick-starter. 

Does anyone have any suggestions? 

Cause I haven't thought that far ahead. 

I'm also writing a quick guide book for the deck.. 

Anyone have suggestions on how to print small booklets? 

I need a bit of help in these departments, and don't have too much time to even look into them yet. So if anyone out there has experience, I would love to hear it. 

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The Daunting Path

   

  I didn't sleep well last night. I kept having nervous and anxious thoughts flood my mind. Mostly about my Tarot Deck. I am very nervous it is taking too long. It seems like forever since I announced it... and I am taking my sweet time on creating it. The truth is, I create it when I have the inspiration. I hate to force art.. I've found that when I do force myself to work on the Tarot Deck, I usually end up disliking the card and needing to re-do it. I'm also currently working on the Spirit De La Lune deck with Moondaughter . I feel like this is taking too long too.. because the original release dates for both decks was this fall, just in time for the holidays.. The Tarot Deck has 78 cards.. each card seems to take me about 5 hours to just draw out, and then the digital editing process to make sure it all lines up takes another 2 hours per card. That's over 500 hours of work.. and I want the cards to be good.  I want them to mean something... because this is a deck I will be doing readings with. I want each card to be beautiful, meaningful and inspired. This goes for the Spirit De La Lune deck as well..

      But last night I was tossing and turning feeling like I have let people down for taking so long in this offering. On top of the two decks, I'm also illustrating a new project that has yet to even be announced! I'm also blogging here,  Lotus Tarot, and writing for my newsletter. I also teach two classes at Sacred City... all while trying to still do human things like eating and cleaning.

     I tend to take on more than I can handle, but I refuse to let any project fizzle out. My current three projects are all I'm signing on to do until I complete one.. but for now I ask for patience.. because these projects mean so much to me!

I've been pouring so much into this deck, that a part of me feels it's totally acceptable to take years to complete. Of course, I won't let it take years... but I do feel that it's okay to take some time on it.. I don't want it to be rushed. I want lots of time to know that each of the 78 cards is exactly what I want.

I know that in the future I will be making more decks.. different themes, oracle decks, mythological decks, and more Tarot Decks.. and I don't want to dislike my first deck..

So to those who expected it to be released by now, I'm terribly sorry. I'm over half way done, and it is well on it's way to completion. I have two and a half more suits to complete.

Every time I get "stumped" on how I want a card to look I usually will go to sleep and ask my higher self to show me inspiration, and images to help me. I usually wake up with a clear image of what the card will look like.

Last night I asked to be shown the remaining cards in the Cup suit, and I'm excited to finish them...

I'm excited to finish all three projects actually, but to be honest I don't think I will ever not be working on something big. This is exciting and daunting all at the same time. Because I'm young, I've got a lot of years ahead of me.. and my skills, talent and mind will expand with those years, and so will my projects, and oh my goodness it's best for me not to think of the future!

(10 of Wands) 

 I'm feeling the 10 of Wands in my life very much at this time. Overwhelmed, nervous, stressed, but still pushing forward. In my 10 of wands I have a woman walking through a forest of large tree like wands. My wands grow from small hand held wands, like the above image with the 2 of wands.. to huge wands as large as trees.. full of magic, but also daunting. I wanted the daunting feeling in this 10 of wands, I wanted her to look nervous, but still walking forward. Ready to go down the stressful and scary path because she knows it will be worth it. On the flip side, the 10's speak of achievement and completion.. So if I am indeed feeling this card, than I'm well on my way to completion. The 10 of Wands has always been an inspirational card when I see it despite the many meanings out there that say to let go of some commitments.. When I woke up with this card in my third eye, I chose to take my inspired meaning of the card for the day. Reevaluate and prioritize your commitments, and keep on going down the dark scary path.. because it is always worth it.

Thank you for your patience in this deck. I only take my time on projects because I want them to be absolutely perfect. I'm still extremely passionate about this deck and each card in the deck. Each time I post a card and get good feedback, my heart sores to create another card.. so thank you for the kind words, support and patience.

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A Chill In The Bones

I woke up this morning with a great chill deep in my bones. It's like over night we have shifted into the cold of winter. Perhaps I feel it more now that there is no hair on my head.. But I think our dear dark winter is on it's way in.

My mind and body are thinking only of cozy sweaters, warm drinks and fire places. The air outside was extra crisp, and the leaves had a louder crunch to them than they did yesterday. Both dogs hurried about their business so we could return home and snuggle under the covers again. We are all adjusting to the new city, and our new routine of lots of walks, but I will say winter will be hard for all of us.

All morning the radiator has been sputtering off steam, moaning and groaning, trying to heat my old apartment. I thought living above the boiler room would be nice, but I just couldn't seem to shake this chill that has been set in my bones.

Around 2 pm, I had had enough. It was time for a bath. I've never ever been a bit fan of bathing. In fact, I do not like water. I take quick showers when I need to. I never go swimming, and I never go into the ocean. But, my apartment has the nicest bath tub I've ever seen. It's surrounded by decorate tile from the 20's. It's deep, and the knobs squeak the perfect vintage squeak every time. Paired with some crystals, oils, salts and candles, I can safely say I enjoy bath time now.

I often set up a crystal grid at my head, and bring crystals into the bath with me. I love having candles, and heated oils near by too. I recently brought plants into my bath tub area as well. I have some hanging down, and some growing upward. I also burn incense while in the bath. The main reason that I bring all of these elements into my bath, is just that. The elements. I believe in balancing that water energy that scares the fiery me. I bring fire, earth, and air into my bathing ritual. It helps me relax more, and helps me feel grounded when I get out of the tub.
Sometimes when I don't have time for a bath, I will still light the candles and everything and just turn my shower on low. It's very peaceful.

After a nourishing hour in the bath tub, I can say the chill in my bones has subsided. I'm feeling clear, cozy, grounded and inspired. Inspiration has been fleeting these last few days, and that's okay. I no longer chase it. It comes to me when I need it most. Last night I finally saw a vision of my Suit of Cups for the Tree Talker Tarot. I haven't worked on my deck in nearly a month now.. and for those of you waiting, I apologize for the delay. But I can not rush this. A Tarot deck should never be rushed, nor should inspiration, or creativity. I now have clear vision of the next suit, and I know that I will now have the time to work on it.

I've been trying to take my days easier. I have so much on my plate right now, that if I do not slow down I will cause myself to get sick. I know that 2015 is going to be a big year for me. I know that there is a major shift in motion, and that too I can feel deep in my bones. But before any major shifts take place, I know I need to nourish myself. 

And now my day is coming full circle, as I sit in my spot overlooking the city...I'm wondering where my day has gone, and where the time goes. I'm watching the sun set, and that chill is starting to creep back in through my fingers and up my hands. They are starting to feel creaky, and stiff. The warmth of the sun is leaving, and the city is looking darker and darker by the moment. But as the sky gets darker the little flickering lights of the city are more noticeable and brighter. I too will turn on my studio lights and let the inspiration flow through my chilled bones.. hoping that will help keep me warm as I create the next suite for my Tarot Deck.

Big Major Arcana Tarot Update

So I made a big decision the other day. I decided to update the Major Arcana a bit. This entire Tarot deck has been taking me WAY longer than I expected, and since I started I noticed my style has changed quite a bit! Without even realizing it, or meaning to... It started to evolve. The Major Arcana is very very important in Tarot and I wanted it all to look concise. I had a feeling that I would be changing a few things in the Major Arcana, which is why I only sold limited edition prints. I had a feeling I would update it and change it. And I'm happy that I did. I'm totally in love with the new cards. They look more mature and pretty.. rather than cute as they looked first. So I'm happy with the changes.

The changes aren't too noticeable until you look at two cards together. But I'm so much happier with the major arcana than I was. I have 3 more suits to work on before it will officially be printed. When I'm on my last suit I will set up a kickstarter or indie go-go campaign and take preorders!

If you were one who bought one of the 5 limited edition prints of the Major arcana, you will get a discount code for the second edition of the Major Arcana print run. I'm not sure when that will be.. as I still have a few to work on.

Let me know what you think of the changes!


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A New Feeling of Nostalgia

I'm not a nostalgic person. Sure I miss people, and some things, and pets who have crossed. But I'm not that sentimental or nostalgic. Sterling has this box of memories.. he keeps it in his closet to go through some days, but can't seem to throw anything away from it. He goes through it reliving the memories and showing me old photos and tokens he has kept. I of course will never make him throw any of this away, and I sit and listen to his stories from it.. But I don't have this box. I have nothings from my childhood or pictures for that matter. It hasn't bothered me too much.
It's made life easy to not be nostalgic. I keep the house clutter free and am a fast packer. I throw things away easily and don't miss them. There is no right or wrong way to be. I can count on Sterling to hold onto the important things in his box.
But lately I've been feeling this weird sense of nostalgia. I got onto my facebook page and scrolled through my own photos. I noticed I used to go on adventures and take photos very often. It's true I've been working a lot since I moved, and before I moved I was also busy.. but boy do I need to find the time to fulfill this sense of adventure and keep posting photography. I've missed it soooo much. Looking at the photos today brought me back to a time I felt very clear, refreshed, happy and at peace. Those feelings of nostalgia were tied to being out in nature, taking photographs. It didn't matter if it was cold or hot. I still got out once a week. I carried my big SLR with me everywhere and used it all the time. I didn't rely on iphone photos like I do now.... so something has got to change.
Here are some of the photos that brought back this new sense of nostalgia...

I've also noticed an increasing desire to dye my hair to it's natural brown color. This makes me so nervous. That's a bold color for me! I've had pink, white, purple, teal, hot pink, lavender, and blue hair for the past two years. And I've loved it! But this last month I've been looking at myself, and it no longer feels right. I have a sense of nostalgia for my natural hair. My natural hair is curly, wavy and brown. It's usually a lighter mousy brown but I enjoy putting a darker wash in it. I've really missed this. I think I started to notice this desire for my natural hair the other day when I was brushing my purple hair. I noticed little pieces of the ends falling off. Not being able to handle the harsh chemicals any longer. I use so many deep conditioners and try to treat my hair very well for all the processing it's been going through, but it just can't keep up!

And I'm scared. I'm scared because I've had this look for so long.. what if I'm only liked because of my pink hair? What if no one will ever notice me again?? (Leo moon speaking here...) Like these things are actually scaring me! I know they shouldn't... but this is a big change for me! Sterling tells me I will look beautiful no matter what, but I'm nervous that's just boyfriend talk.

Anyways.. I'm feeling very called to go back to this natural color..  so I'm going to follow it. As well as bring my camera with me wherever I go like I used to. Capturing moments, landscapes and memories. Because this year FLEW by. And I only have a few good pictures of it.

And if you are wondering why I have been so distant lately... I haven't really been distant. I've been glued to photoshop stitching together the Tree Talker Tarot deck. It's consumed my entire week.
Each card will have a small border, but they will also match up into a story for each suit. It was a small idea I had at the time, and WOW has it been tricky to do.

I've been invited to go to a theme park tonight by my little sister and her husband.. so I will be closing the computer, and picking up the camera to start following this sense of nostalgia. Let's see where this takes me.



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Tree Talker Tarot Update

Yes! The Tarot Deck is still happening! I've been soooo caught up with moving, teaching, readings.. the list goes on. Story of my life this last month am I right?! It seems every post starts off this way and I'm sorry. But I really am working on this here Tarot Deck. It's taken way longer than I thought it would.. which of course is also what I've been saying on the blog. I hit a block with the Court Cards of the Wands.

Obviously it was a block to creativity, especially because that's what the Suit of Wands represents. I drew out the Page of Wands, then decided to start over, then threw out the second try, and started a third one... half way through the third one I went back to finish the first one.
It took several weeks to get to the point of being okay with that card. I may even try a fourth time! But I decided to move on to The Knight of Wands and The Queen of Wands.

Here are some really rough photos from my sketchbook.. There is still so much to do on them! But I thought I would do an update on the project and let everyone know.. it's still happening!

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