Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Daunting Path


  I didn't sleep well last night. I kept having nervous and anxious thoughts flood my mind. Mostly about my Tarot Deck. I am very nervous it is taking too long. It seems like forever since I announced it... and I am taking my sweet time on creating it. The truth is, I create it when I have the inspiration. I hate to force art.. I've found that when I do force myself to work on the Tarot Deck, I usually end up disliking the card and needing to re-do it. I'm also currently working on the Spirit De La Lune deck with Moondaughter . I feel like this is taking too long too.. because the original release dates for both decks was this fall, just in time for the holidays.. The Tarot Deck has 78 cards.. each card seems to take me about 5 hours to just draw out, and then the digital editing process to make sure it all lines up takes another 2 hours per card. That's over 500 hours of work.. and I want the cards to be good.  I want them to mean something... because this is a deck I will be doing readings with. I want each card to be beautiful, meaningful and inspired. This goes for the Spirit De La Lune deck as well..

      But last night I was tossing and turning feeling like I have let people down for taking so long in this offering. On top of the two decks, I'm also illustrating a new project that has yet to even be announced! I'm also blogging here,  Lotus Tarot, and writing for my newsletter. I also teach two classes at Sacred City... all while trying to still do human things like eating and cleaning.

     I tend to take on more than I can handle, but I refuse to let any project fizzle out. My current three projects are all I'm signing on to do until I complete one.. but for now I ask for patience.. because these projects mean so much to me!

I've been pouring so much into this deck, that a part of me feels it's totally acceptable to take years to complete. Of course, I won't let it take years... but I do feel that it's okay to take some time on it.. I don't want it to be rushed. I want lots of time to know that each of the 78 cards is exactly what I want.

I know that in the future I will be making more decks.. different themes, oracle decks, mythological decks, and more Tarot Decks.. and I don't want to dislike my first deck..

So to those who expected it to be released by now, I'm terribly sorry. I'm over half way done, and it is well on it's way to completion. I have two and a half more suits to complete.

Every time I get "stumped" on how I want a card to look I usually will go to sleep and ask my higher self to show me inspiration, and images to help me. I usually wake up with a clear image of what the card will look like.

Last night I asked to be shown the remaining cards in the Cup suit, and I'm excited to finish them...

I'm excited to finish all three projects actually, but to be honest I don't think I will ever not be working on something big. This is exciting and daunting all at the same time. Because I'm young, I've got a lot of years ahead of me.. and my skills, talent and mind will expand with those years, and so will my projects, and oh my goodness it's best for me not to think of the future!

(10 of Wands) 

 I'm feeling the 10 of Wands in my life very much at this time. Overwhelmed, nervous, stressed, but still pushing forward. In my 10 of wands I have a woman walking through a forest of large tree like wands. My wands grow from small hand held wands, like the above image with the 2 of wands.. to huge wands as large as trees.. full of magic, but also daunting. I wanted the daunting feeling in this 10 of wands, I wanted her to look nervous, but still walking forward. Ready to go down the stressful and scary path because she knows it will be worth it. On the flip side, the 10's speak of achievement and completion.. So if I am indeed feeling this card, than I'm well on my way to completion. The 10 of Wands has always been an inspirational card when I see it despite the many meanings out there that say to let go of some commitments.. When I woke up with this card in my third eye, I chose to take my inspired meaning of the card for the day. Reevaluate and prioritize your commitments, and keep on going down the dark scary path.. because it is always worth it.

Thank you for your patience in this deck. I only take my time on projects because I want them to be absolutely perfect. I'm still extremely passionate about this deck and each card in the deck. Each time I post a card and get good feedback, my heart sores to create another card.. so thank you for the kind words, support and patience.

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  1. Good things come to those that wait. In this case we will wait and be patient for the deck because we know how much you care about this project and how much you know about tarot cards making each image meaningful and detailed.

  2. I know I speak for many when I say that we will wait. Art cannot be rushed. Something this close to your heart cannot be rushed. Take your time, sweet lady.

  3. I love the 10 of wands. I instantly fell for it when I scrolled down to see it <3

  4. I sooo well understand your stress, I always take way more than I can handle and after I spend nights and days struggling with my projects… Be brave ! <3 Bixx



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