I'm not a nostalgic person. Sure I miss people, and some things, and pets who have crossed. But I'm not that sentimental or nostalgic. Sterling has this box of memories.. he keeps it in his closet to go through some days, but can't seem to throw anything away from it. He goes through it reliving the memories and showing me old photos and tokens he has kept. I of course will never make him throw any of this away, and I sit and listen to his stories from it.. But I don't have this box. I have nothings from my childhood or pictures for that matter. It hasn't bothered me too much.
It's made life easy to not be nostalgic. I keep the house clutter free and am a fast packer. I throw things away easily and don't miss them. There is no right or wrong way to be. I can count on Sterling to hold onto the important things in his box.
But lately I've been feeling this weird sense of nostalgia. I got onto my facebook page and scrolled through my own photos. I noticed I used to go on adventures and take photos very often. It's true I've been working a lot since I moved, and before I moved I was also busy.. but boy do I need to find the time to fulfill this sense of adventure and keep posting photography. I've missed it soooo much. Looking at the photos today brought me back to a time I felt very clear, refreshed, happy and at peace. Those feelings of nostalgia were tied to being out in nature, taking photographs. It didn't matter if it was cold or hot. I still got out once a week. I carried my big SLR with me everywhere and used it all the time. I didn't rely on iphone photos like I do now.... so something has got to change.
Here are some of the photos that brought back this new sense of nostalgia...
I've also noticed an increasing desire to dye my hair to it's natural brown color. This makes me so nervous. That's a bold color for me! I've had pink, white, purple, teal, hot pink, lavender, and blue hair for the past two years. And I've loved it! But this last month I've been looking at myself, and it no longer feels right. I have a sense of nostalgia for my natural hair. My natural hair is curly, wavy and brown. It's usually a lighter mousy brown but I enjoy putting a darker wash in it. I've really missed this. I think I started to notice this desire for my natural hair the other day when I was brushing my purple hair. I noticed little pieces of the ends falling off. Not being able to handle the harsh chemicals any longer. I use so many deep conditioners and try to treat my hair very well for all the processing it's been going through, but it just can't keep up!
And I'm scared. I'm scared because I've had this look for so long.. what if I'm only liked because of my pink hair? What if no one will ever notice me again?? (Leo moon speaking here...) Like these things are actually scaring me! I know they shouldn't... but this is a big change for me! Sterling tells me I will look beautiful no matter what, but I'm nervous that's just boyfriend talk.
Anyways.. I'm feeling very called to go back to this natural color.. so I'm going to follow it. As well as bring my camera with me wherever I go like I used to. Capturing moments, landscapes and memories. Because this year FLEW by. And I only have a few good pictures of it.
And if you are wondering why I have been so distant lately... I haven't really been distant. I've been glued to photoshop stitching together the Tree Talker Tarot deck. It's consumed my entire week.
Each card will have a small border, but they will also match up into a story for each suit. It was a small idea I had at the time, and WOW has it been tricky to do.
I've been invited to go to a theme park tonight by my little sister and her husband.. so I will be closing the computer, and picking up the camera to start following this sense of nostalgia. Let's see where this takes me.