Wednesday, March 19, 2014


I'm happy to report this last month has been so much better depression wise. I've made tons of changes to try to beat this.. and I've learned so much over the years of dealing with this, and even more in just this last month. I know I am no expert in this, and I haven't quite conquered this depression all the way.. besides I don't think depression ever really goes away. But, I do know some tricks and tips to help keep it at bay. 
Below is a great video on depression. Showing how depression affects millions of people. And it's totally okay. It might always be part of your life, but it doesn't have to run your life. 

 My little brother, my mom and I share a lot of the same genes. We are all affected by gluten, we all suffer from headaches, and depression runs in that part of the family. My brother is on some anti depressants that seem to be working for him. He also went in for some x-rays to show a deviated septum, and some other complications in his sinuses that change the way oxygen flows into his brain that is tributing to the depression. Throwing his brain kind of off balance. He's going in for surgery on the 21st to try to fix his sinuses and breathing passages. My mom called me the day we found out about this news informing me that I most likely have the same issues since she does too. She asked me to call the doctor and set up an appointment to get the same brain scans and see. We talked about me going to see a doctor, getting back on depression medication, and seeing a therapist. I tearfully said I would consider it. 
I've taken that route, and I hated it. I took depression medication, and I talked to a therapist who was less than kind to me. He was belittling and even mocked the words I said. I took the medication, but the doctor wasn't there to help me with any questions. I know not all doctors are like that, and I must have gotten the worst of them. But the whole experience was traumatizing and scarring, making me ashamed of my own emotions and feelings. That was of course 4 years ago, and a lot has changed... in that four years I was able to heal on my own and recover a bit.  I agreed to see a doctor if I couldn't change things on my own within a few months, and I've been working very hard to do so. 
It comes back, off and on, but I know the signs, and I know the steps. I'm lucky to have a patient man who understands me, and I'm lucky to have my mother who now understands. I had suffered in silence for many years until my brother's depression came to surface, my silent cries became heard, even if I didn't want them to. 

Everyone handles depression differently. Medication works for some, while other's need a different route. I am planning on sharing my tips and tricks with you over time, but the first trick, is you must first be willing to fight it. People often say, "Make the choice to be happy. It's easy. " This is a tricky statement, because you DO need to make the decision to be happy, but it's easier said then done. Once you make the choice, things don'e magically get better. Instead you must make the decision to not be okay with depression. You must be anti-depression yourself.. You must be willing to fight it. Be willing to be open to change. Be willing to fight it. The first step to defeating depression is to be the anti-depressant yourself. Come to the decision, that your life isn't about not feeling, or feeling numb anymore. Decide for yourself that you want to feel again, and that you want to feel happy. 
The first step is "deciding to be happy." but don't expect that to be the last step. 
It's not the cure, it's only the first step. 
But, it's the most important one. 

View More:

1 comment:

  1. living with depression SUX!!!! i have to and i hate it most days. and when it hits me worse is when life gets stressful. i can't seem to just take a breath and keep going, i automatically turn inward and get sad and 'woe is me' and i hate it so much. most days i can make it thru ok, but even then its an up and down rollercoaster of emotions- every day!!! i just want to function normally!!!! but what is normal, right?!?! im on meds and have been for years and i hate taking them everyday. ive tried numerus times to go off them but have been unsuccessful. i know if i can make it thru a bad day or week, it will turn around and i will have positive and uplifting days! its just so much work!! lol im glad i can come here and read about your struggles, it makes me feel not alone!!


Thanks for leaving a comment!
Be sure to leave a link to YOUR blog so I can come say hi! xoxo