On The Edge

Happy New Year! 

First off, I want to end this year with a big thank you. I am continually humbled and amazed at the love and support I feel from you all. This blog, and all who read it mean the world to me. This year has had a lot of ups and downs. It's had it's heavy moments, and a lot of losses. I've gained a lot of clarity.. and I've had to make some difficult decisions, and cut a lot of ties with negative people. This year has been one of the hardest of my life. And I mean really hard. My depression came back this year, much worse than ever. Finances have been a roller coaster. I was laid off from work 2 times, which gave me the opportunity to decide to stay at home and work doing what I love. But, that's been another issue contributing to the financial roller coaster. Getting rent paid is an adventure in itself, not to mention all the other little things that need buying. Like food. 

But there have definitely been a lot of wonderful things that happened in this year. And I can't ignore all those wonderful things. Because with just as much loss and hardship that was brought in this year, there have been a lot of new beginnings, and beautiful things adde to it. 

For example, I've been with Sterling for over a year now. And I'm sure that he is the most handsome man in the whole world, making me the luckiest girl ever.

And while it's the scariest thing I could ever imagine, it's still the only thing I've ever wanted... to stay home and create. I get to sleep in just a bit, and do whatever I please all day. And luckily, my own strict standards help make sure I don't just sleep all day. I actually need to wake up on time, and get stuff done. I either edit photos, paint, or work on hats, but I make sure something creative gets done daily. 

 And I consider myself very lucky because I get to stay home with my pups and kitty. Which are other wonderful things that were added to my life this year. Anubis the cat who was found outside an army supply store. He was a scrawny little kitten with goopy eyes and a snuffle. After a week or two his symptoms got worse, and he nearly died. Thanks to the readers of this blog, we were able to get him the medicine and the help he needed to survive and become the cat he is today. Even though he shreds the toilet paper on a weekly basis, he is still a huge part of my little family. Aside from Nubis, I got another little surprise this year. Little Meko. I had downstairs neighbors for about a month or so, and I would constantly hear her yelling at someone. I finally went down to "check if it was warm enough for them." (Best excuse I could find!) I asked if she had a dog by chance, and she told me no. I sweetly said, "I thought I saw one the other day." When I heard a bark. I saw the smallest little dog in the world. She let me see him. He was so scared of everything! The downstairs was messy, shredded papers everywhere, and no dog toys in sight! I picked him up, and he reminded me of Mowgli so much I cried when he licked my nose. The neighbor downstairs said she wanted to find him a new home because he was evil and was untrainable. Next thing I knew, I had a new pup. The happiest, sweetest, and most lovable dog in the world.

I've never met a happier dog. He's been such a blessing to my family. He's brought so much laughter and joy into this house. He's been a little tricky to potty train, but he is certainly not evil.

And today I feel like I'm standing on the edge. And quite literally I am, on the edge of a new year. Another year that will be full of ups and downs. Another roller coaster I hope to gain control over. Though I'm learning that maybe we aren't meant to have control like that.. instead we are meant to control our realities and perspectives. 

There is so much coming in this new year. New goals, new ideas, new art, and new stories. 

Can't wait. 

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