Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Why Me?!

Has something bad ever happened to you, and your reaction was "Why Me?" 
I call it the "Why Me's." 
(Clever name, I know.. I'm a clever clever girl.)

Well, I had a really bad case of the "Why Me's."
Like really bad. 
And the thing with the "Why Me's" is that it doesn't really do anything.
You don't feel that much better, and it actually just opens a door more even more bad things!

I'm not saying the "Why Me's" were the cause of all my problems,
but they certainly didn't help.

Do you remember last month?
I sure do. 
First a flea outbreak, then my car broke down, then the house flooded, and I lost a ton of original paintings, and my favorite tea set broke, and now my hard drive doesn't work with all of my pictures of my sweet Mowgli, and one thing after another just kept happening. 
And all the little things that started to fall apart hurt even more.

And I would say, 

"Well, of course,
if anything bad out there is going to happen..
it will happen to me."

Which was just a huge invitation for even more bad news to come my way.
The "Why Me's" are a terrible habit. 
It's hard to get out of feeling sorry for yourself.

But I've found the cure! 
I've done it! 
And I want to tell you my secret.

Next time you ask yourself "Why me?!" 
with tears running down your face, and hope gone from your heart..
Add a little something to that question.
"Why me?!   Because....."
And then expound on that because.

Why is that bad thing happening to you?
(And don't just answer "because I suck")


Here is a petty example,
remember, I was in the midst of the "Why Me's." 
Where everything seemed to be going wrong.
All the little things too.
So for Christmas my mom gave me and my sister's a beautiful leaf necklace.
Well, I tried putting it on a few days later, and it broke! 
I was angry at the world, that I couldn't even have one little thing.
(That's what the "Why Me's" do to you!)
 I was a sad, that out of all three necklaces, mine would break.
Of course.
So I asked myself, "Why me?!" and all of the sudden I had my answer.
"Because I'm the one with the jewelry making tools to fix it." 
And besides that, I wouldn't want that to happen to my sisters!

Then one after another I had answers to all of my other "Why Me's"

"Why did my hard drive break? With all of my pictures of Mowgli?
Because I can figure out how to fix it."

"Why did my car break down?
Because I can figure out another way of getting around."
And sometimes the answers were a little forced.

"Why did my house flood? Ruining 36 original paintings?
Because... I'm strong enough to handle even that."

But each answer was empowering enough to cheer me up, 
and get me out of the "Why Me's"
And once you answer the "Why Me?" you feel glad it didn't happen to anyone else.
 Because it was meant for you, because you now know why.
You are strong enough to handle it, 
or you have the tools or resources to fix it.


I of course can't guarantee results.
I can't guarantee that all bad things will go away.
But I can tell you that the more you focus on your problems,
the more you pout and ask "Why me?"
You will seem to find more problems.

Since I've gotten myself out of the "Why Me's" I've felt a lot better.
And each time sometime bad happens..
cause I know it will
I'll face it with my secret weapon.



31 comments:

  1. i'm glad you figured out the secret! i'm sorry your necklace broke. were you able to fix it?

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  2. Oh, wow! That's such a great post! Makes me think... A LOT!!! I had/have moments like that and I understand that it's completely wrong crying over spilled milk. You couldn't explain it better. :-)

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  3. Ha yes! I fixed it Kate.. It wasn't THAT big of a deal in retrospect. I was just in a huge big baby mood. :) Thanks so much Anzouya and SvetlanaHellKovich! :)

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  4. i love this!! thank youu!! :) and p.s. your stunning. <3 (:

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  5. You are such an inspiration! Thanks! xxx

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    1. Thanks so much Chrissy! You are so sweet!!

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  6. love reading your posts!

    wishuponasmile.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks so much Tasnim! I love posting, so I'm glad people actually read! :)

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  7. Aww this made me smile! I'm definitely taking your advice! xoxo

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  8. Rachael, I love your attitude! 2011 was pretty lousy to me and I kept falling into that same pit of despair too, but I love your approach to it. I'll absolutely be using that mentality this year. :)

    - @sousveillance

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    1. I hope it helps you! I was seriously stuck in it for a while.. I'm hoping I'm all out! It was awful!

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  9. Your blog is becoming more and more of one of my favorites. Your stories are genuine and easy to relate to. If you don't mind me saying, I love how you could be every girl's soul mate :)

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    1. Thanks so much Ally! I don't mind you saying that at all! That made me so happy. :)

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  10. Thank you for the inspiration! I hate why me's!!! I love your crocheted sweater :)
    xx

    www.queenoffunkydiy.blogspot.com

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  11. Thanks Tara!! My mom actually bought it for me, and I love it!

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  12. Beautifully put Rachael! What a wonderful viewpoint.

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  13. Lovely said! You are lovely.

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  14. A lovely and thoughtful post. Good on you for seeing the positives :)

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  15. So strong :) I will have to attempt using that strategy next time something happens :) Thanks for sharing .

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    1. Thanks Elysia! It's something I will probably have to work on continually. :)

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    1. Haha thanks Bethany! I haven't always been smart.. it's a trial and error. ;)

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  17. When I get in one of those moods, and I catch myself doing it, I stop and remind myself to 'focus on beauty.' For every bad thing that happens to us, many good things are also happening at the same time.

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    1. Yes! That's another very important thing! One of my favorite quotes goes something like this "Beauty isn't everything... but there IS beautiful in everything." It always makes me smile. :)

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  18. This is very empowering and I love it!! I'm going to try to do this too. Way to go with crushing yucky things with positivity :)

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  19. Interesting post. Just wanted to add, I think a little bit different, though I like your point of view. I think you should look at bad things that happen and think not "why me?" or "why did it happen to ME?", but "what FOR did it happen?". A lot of bad things happen not just like that, they are for something, in the end it changes everything to the better in some way. If that didn't happen, then something good couldn't have happen. I'm not saying that it's always that way, but when I try to think about it, for most of the times I find out what good did I get from it.

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