But now it's a day that I celebrate.
Today is my one year anniversary of doing this full time.
I made a decision back then to do what I want to do. To do what I LOVE. And make money from it. And it's been a successful year. I haven't had to get into any extra debt, borrow money, or have a single late payment. And I'm so proud of myself. I'm a little sad because I feel my successes are very over looked in my family. I've always been the black sheep.. but this black sheep got a shade darker this year.. I don't always feel fully accepted., but this is something to be worked out another day, because after one year, I can say I fully accept myself, and am beyond proud.
I remember the night I got laid off, Sterling and I went camping. I cried while sitting around the camp fire. Scared. So scared. Should I apply for another job? Fit into the mold my parents want? Should I try for government assistance? Would I have to move into a cheaper place? So many scary thoughts..... how would I feed myself? My pets? How would I afford rent!?
But then I remembered affirmations. The whole time I worked at the school I would always think to myself how I wish I had more time for art. I would say stuff like "I am an artist. I want to do my art." I would repeat that phrase so often through out the day in hopes of reminding myself to do art when I got home. Well, I repeated it enough to where it came true.
Sitting around the campfire that night I realized this is what I had wanted all along. I had been putting this thought out into the universe for so long that it came true! The universe doesn't always deliver how we want, but it does deliver.
After I got over the shock, I went over a plan.
I decided to offer Tarot Readings, and I'm still reading for Lotus Tarot. Tarot has been a huge part of my year.. it's opened me up in so many ways.. and because I started reading Tarot full time, I started my own Tarot Deck.
This year has been full of so many ups and downs.. and so many lessons.
I struggled with depression this year more than ever. Not getting out of the house much really sucks.
But I've been learning to take my job anywhere I want! Which has helped out so much.
I also really struggled with waking up. Waking up has been the hardest part of this.. At school, my job started at 7:15. Now my job starts whenever I want it too.. But sometimes depression kept me in bed until noon.... or later.
I started meditating more, and doing yoga daily. I do 100 squats a day, and drink a lot of coffee. I get to have my hair pink whenever I want it, and eat breakfast in my underwear. I get to create art whenever I want. For fun, for money, for me, or for friends. It's been an amazing year.
(Photo taken exactly one year ago today around that campfire)
And today on this very special day, I have another announcement!
Marissa from Moondaughter and I are teaming up for an Oracle Deck! This has been Marissa's idea for a few years and I''m so honored to be a part of this deck! It's going to feature mandalas and moon phases, and other spectacular things. I'm so excited. I love the way it's turning out!
I trust Marissa's vision for this deck, and am having so much fun creating it. I once did a full concentration on Mandalas for an art class and had to do studies on their process as well as create several of my own. So I was extremely excited when we discussed Mandala cards.
We've got three cards done so far.. but it's been a fun break from my Tarot Deck. I've been trying to work on the two simultaneously so they will be released around the same time. It's very refreshing to finish a Mandala, then start on a illustrated Tarot card. Once that's finished it's a refreshing break to do another Mandala.
We are still deciding on a good name for the deck, so if you want to help leave a comment here, facebook, or instagram. If we like your name and choose it we will send you a free deck.
I want to finish this post with a sincere thank you to those who have supported me. In Tarot Readings, paintings, the Tarot Deck, Moon Deck... those who have read the books I illustrated. (Another one is coming out in a month! ) Those who read this blog, everyone who supports me. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. This has been a scary year, but wow, it's been so rewarding... and I couldn't have done it without your support.