I spent some time with family this last weekend. It was a lot of fun and I got to talking to my little brother who is home from New York because of some medical issues. He's got a lot of the same issues I've been dealing with. Migraines, headaches, sleeping problems, depression. He's seen some doctors, neurologists and had an MRI. He's been on some medications for these problems and I'm starting to think I should get checked out too. But, with all the insurance stuff going on, I just don't have the money. I'm waiting to see what the insurance world will look like after my birthday this month... when I cross the age threshold of being able to stay on my parent's insurance.
This is just getting to be all too much lately. I can barely get out of bed in the mornings let alone worry about insurance crap and why I have headaches every since day. . Besides, I have too much to worry about with this book.. because while I'm busy working on this book, I'm unable to paint or push for sales in the Art Shop, so money is a bit tight right now..
This last week has actually been a bit better. I think my mood is waxing just like the moon. I've spent a lot of time this last week thinking of the things I can do to make myself happier. Not just thinking of them, but practicing them too. I've made some progress, and I want to share with you. Even if it's a weekly thing, because I do feel a difference, and I hope to help others too.
On top of dealing with the above... I've been dealing with the new rental agency... who is not much kinder than the last. They raised my rent with a promise to put insulation in, but now they won't be doing that until after I move. It's tough to get ahold of who I need to, and the transfer of files from the last owner to the new owner didn't happen right, so I've had to be the one to track down forms and scan them in to the right place... because if I don't, the cracked tile that was here before I moved in would be my fault and I'd have to pay for it. It's been a frustrating mess, and I'm ready to move out.
Moving brings a sense of progression to me.. but I've been waiting to buy a truck, or rent one. I've been waiting to look for a place until I know if someone will take over this lease. My soul is craving a move, though my soul also truly adores this house. I'm just ready for a change.
I just need another me to help deal with all of this stress. Someone who knows the bills and passwords, someone who will help take some of the responsibilities off of my shoulders.. but then again... I don't think I would get along with another me... I can barely get along with myself.
I've been trying to surround myself in things I love.. like my new little garden. (Pictured above.)
We were at a small cafe and I told Sterling I wanted a plant. I reached my finger to touch it, and he popped off into my hand. So, I took him home with the intent to give him a better brighter happier home.
Also, over the New Moon I took the opportunity to plant some seeds of my own for my kitchen.
I planted some herbs and flowers to brighten things up. Chamomile, lavender, basil, and some peppers.
I've also been doing more yoga, meditation and trying to listen to my body more.
When I was a child, I went to counseling for some abuse and trauma I suffered when I was young. My counselor was wonderful and very metaphysical, and at the early age of just 8 I learned about colors, chakras and body testing. I remembered she had a book called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. I didn't remember that book until I saw it at a friend's house years ago.. and the memories flooded back. I bought the book shortly after and learned so much reading it. Whenever I have pain or an ache, I like to refer to the book. It often explains what's going on. My shoulders and back has hurt for about a year now, and reading this totally explains why.
"You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. Her book is colorful and uplifting, but her index includes the symptoms, but also an affirmation to help heal. I love her books, and would and have recommended them.