Therapy

Note: this post has random pictures from the newly reopened shop. I'm blogging from my phone and its a bit tricky to do picture placements.. 

This weekend was filled with projects, cleaning the house, weeding the garden, planting, art making and even making hats. It's really interesting to be getting back into making hats after having the shop closed for almost a year. It's fun seeing such old pictures of me, and redoing hats that I designed years ago. It's scary for some reason, and I can't quite put my finger on why it's scary. Because it shouldn't be. And it's not all scary. At all. It's good. Almost like jumping back into a memory, but knowing that things will be a bit different now. I'm getting used to going to 3 craft stores a day, and ordering bulk packaging.. And I'm hoping Sterling can get used to me saying, "Sorry, I don't want to go out, I have hats to make." 

When I was divorced, my hat business and my blog was said to be a major part of the troubles of the marriage. Because I had to run my business I never had time for him.. Which I am convinced that was NOT the major reason, but it does scare my for this current relationship. My ex hated my blog, and my photos, my art, and my hats. He made them out to be burdens, and I can't help but still feel that when I tell Sterling, "I've got to go find this yarn, then get shipping supplies, then go home and MAKE the hats.. Sorry." He always wants to know WHY I'm sorry... And I think it's just because I was conditioned to believe my joys, hobbies and creations have been a burden. 

And now I'm almost in tears for this realization... 

And I've figured out why I've been scared. And I'm trying not to be scared. 

Because ones hobbies shouldn't be a burden to anyone. And you shouldn't be ashamed or afraid to do what you love. 

Wow. Good therapy session. Thanks for listening.