Animal Love

Yesterday morning Clauneck's home fell. The little latch holding him up broke and him and his entire cage came tumbling down. He's okay. He was just scared. But I was livid. We've had that cage for 2 weeks and it almost killed him! So later today I took the cage into the pet shop I got it from. The owner of the store was less than polite to me. In fact, he was pretty rude and unwilling to work with me. So, I asked for my money back and as I left I asked him if he treated his animals the same way he treats his customers... The complete lack of empathy left me irate. I took that money and I went and bought Clauneck an even bigger home. He's a happy bird.. but the entire situation reminds me of Donny Darko. When his sister complains about the plain engine landing in his room, and he gets a bunch of new stuff. Wicket looked a bit jealous.

I love my pets. And they deserve the very best. Don't worry, they are both spoiled.


Something about the love of a dog just cheers me up. Wicket can always tell when I'm depressed. He always knows when to snuggle close. This is good, because I have a very very hard time reaching out when I'm like this. I want to talk, I want to snuggle and be loved. But, the thought of moving, or instigating anything brings pain. Seeing Sterling laying on the couch taking a nap actually brings pain to me, because I want to lay down with him and snuggle in his arms, but my body won't move, and I can't make a noise. I don't know what it is. It's almost like any move that I make will make things worse. Or I will feel like I'm just crying out for attention if I ask for a hug. So, I sit quietly. I don't move. Because I honestly.. can't. But then the lump in my throat gets bigger and it hurts so much. But that's usually when Wicket notices and comes and sits by me. He doesn't tell me it's time to talk. He doesn't ask what is wrong. He just is. He just sits quietly with me. Just the way Mowgli did when I went through this all before. Sure Wicket is a goof...

But he is my goof. He understands what it is to just be. 

He teaches and listens and sits. And he is just what I need today.