Monday, May 6, 2013

I'm Back..

Or at least trying..

So I'm sitting here trying to think of something to write. Last night I posted on Facebook that I would be back to blogging today. So here I sit trying I think of something to write. This used to come so easily. Then life hit me. It's been years since my divorce but I'm still working so hard to pay it off and be financially free from that burden. And with that I've had many more artistic opportunities open up. And for that I'm so grateful. But it's leaving me a bit less time to blog. Or at least think of good blog posts. A lot of that comes from time to just sit and meditate.
So I'll begin by telling you about my weekend. Friday night we went to Timeless Image where my art work is hung up. It was the Provo Gallery Stroll. This is where the art galleries stay open late and people who come in can meet the artist. We met some fun people, mostly older couples on their date nights.. And one older man who I got to know. He mentioned UFOS and we became best friends.
Later that night I got news one of the pieces sold too. So that was exciting.
Saturday I stayed in and worked on the book cover. I'm so excited to show you guys.. and I'm almost finished. ...But I've got to wait. I will tell you that the publishers liked it and I've never been so relieved in my life. When I heard I know my eyes lit up.. And I said, "Sterling, I'm going to dance." Like a warning. Because I never dance. But I jumped up. Did a small jig and jumped into his arms. There was epic music in the background. I was very relieved they liked the design. It was a big burden off of me.
Yesterday I worked on adding a cat into a family painting I did two years ago. It's such a neat idea. I had a family portrait commissioned a while back and she asked if I could add another cat to the painting. So that was fun. I spent the last half of Sunday night working on editing letters and words for the cover. Making and editing a fonts is tough. I've made my own font before, it's rough work.
So that's my weekend at a glance.

As for the depression I've been going through? I have good days and bad. A few nights ago was a night full of nightmares and bad memories. Closing my eyes I would see fire, people dying, and car accidents. Lots and lots of bad memories and flashbacks. This caused my entire day to be filled with fear, and even guilt. Last night was the same.. Lots of nightmares and little sleep. Causing me to wake up in emotional pain again, and that's just something that's hard to snap out of.
This morning was hard, just one of those mornings were everything goes wrong. Tripping, spilling, things breaking, forgetting, fighting, and frustration. Not normally a big deal, this is something I can normally snap out of, but its been hard lately.. Like my last post, from last week. It's the little things that hurt. Something so small can suck you in so deep.

Here are two of my new drawings from this last week. I'm not too sure what will become of them quite yet.


  1. Oh sweetie! Sending you such good vibes and positive thoughts and hugs! :D
    Congratulations on the book cover! So exciting! Can't wait to see what it looks like :)

  2. I am sorry to hear about your depression. But it is good to hear that there are not just bad times but some good moments too. I wish you all the best and that you get well soon.
    Be gentle with and take care of yourself. And don't be angry with yourself because of misshaps. It seems like they will happen anyway. Didn't you wrote a post of loving yourself? It seems like now is the time to have a lot of love and patience for yourself.

    1. Thanks Coco! I'm trying to take care of myself.. haha a lot of my posts about self love and happiness are directed to myself... so I can learn as I write. Looks like I'll be writing more of those soon!


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