Raw Honesty

Raw honesty.

I have a problem telling people I love them. It's something I'm working on.  

I don't like my back being touched. Or my neck. Getting a massage brings me to tears.

I can't touch my own belly button. It makes me sick.. We need to stop talking about it. Now. 

I smell my cups before I use them... If they smell like anything at all, I won't use them. I would rather drink from a bottle. 

If a cup does in fact pass the smell test, only ice water with 5 ice cubes can be drinken from it. 

I'm afraid of Cookie Monster. I used to have nightmares of him chasing me up the stairs when I was younger. 

I also recall a dog named Ding Dong. Both me and my older sister remember this dog vividly. Everyone else in the family claims there never was such a dog. 

I also have recollection of being in a hot air balloon, and also holding a baby lion while in Africa. Both of these never happened... In this life at least. 

I still have post traumatic stress disorder from Mowgli's passing two years ago. 

I still have post traumatic stress disorder from childhood events. I choose to not talk about it.. I know it's unhealthy. 

I used to have a lot of problems with self hate, and self harm. Not even my family knows of those dark times.. 

I really did talk to trees while I was growing up. My family may have not known of my dark times, but the trees did.

My favorite color is yellow.. Because it reminds me of sunflowers, and they remind me to choose happiness. 

I truly love trees.. They stand tall, they are grounded and are constantly reaching up. 

I hear voices at night. 

I dream of future events.

I see things and figures in my room. 

I have pretty horrid nightmares some times. 

I used to sneak into the cemetery at night. 

I believe in aliens, big foot and the faery realm. I feel as if I've been abducted by aliens several times. 

I love to walk barefoot, and I'm very self conscious about my feet. I have been walking barefoot for so long my feet are very calloused and tough.

I'm also self conscious about my weight. I thought for a very long time that I was overweight. I STILL struggle with poor body image and low self esteem. 

I worked for a paranormal investigating company once, I was a medium. 

The  healer I worked with once told me I had "faery hands." I now know what that means. And I'm beyond intrigued. 

I used to think I was outgoing and social... But I have turned inward and can now count my social life on one hand now. And I'm not one bit ashamed. 

My best friend and soul mate is Sterling.. And I've never been happier with any one person as I am now.

My other best friend is my little Wicket.. He is a first time soul here. A little baby 

I remain in contact with my other best friend Mowgli.. He is my spirit guide and a lot of folks think I'm crazy. 

And I might be crazy. I'm willing to accept that others may think I'm a little crazy. They might think I'm strange... They can chalk it to me being an artist type. 

But it keeps life interesting.