Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Joys Of Being Alone




I am going to tell you a secret.
I love to be alone. 

 I am going to tell you another secret.
I don't have a best friend.


I have 3.
Me, myself, and I.

I've always been like that. Maybe I have trust issues. Maybe I've been hurt. Maybe I'm just weird. 
Maybe it's a combination of all 3, but I truly love my alone time.

Alone time is a necessity for me, and honestly.. it's good for everyone.
And I don't mean, me home alone sitting on facebook, watching a movie or reading. 
I mean, being alone. Doing my own thing, like painting, going on a walk, or cooking. 
Not speaking to anyone but me.

How else could I know myself this well?
How else could I know exactly what I want?

My mind is not clouded by perceptions of others. Or seeing other people, and wondering if I need to be like them.

The biggest thing blocking our joys, and creativity may be our lack of solitude.

Loneliness is the biggest risk of aloneness. But, you can be alone without being lonely.
The very idea of being alone may bring up deep childhood fears of abandonment and neglect.
And trust me, it took me a long time before I was okay with being alone. 



Sometimes, the only person you can really count on, is yourself.
And that's a good thing.
A thing to find joy in.

Someone will always have your back.
Someone will always love you.
There is always someone you can trust.

Meet your new best friend.
It's yourself. 

And of course, I will always cherish my friendship with my furry pals.

Try being alone with your pet for an extended period of time.
They stop being your pet.
You develop a special communication that goes beyond "sit, stay, lay down, come"
Almost a psychic connection... maybe an instinctive connection from our primitive times. 


I hope for nothing, and live with no expectations.
I am free.







47 comments:

  1. I definitely needed this. I don't have friends and I just lost the one person I considered my best friend and partner. It's hard, but I'm learning to be okay with being alone and by myself, but feeling loneliness.
    Thank you so much. <3

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    1. Hi Steven, I'm so sorry about your loss... and having no friends to turn to can be so hard. I honestly don't think I've had "friends" for a very long time. Moving every 3 months for 2 years helped keep it that way. ;) BUT if there is one thing I have learned.. it is that there are always wonderful people out there. Even if they connect through just blog comments or emails.

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  2. I love being along too! I crave it whenever I'm around large groups of people. I do like social interaction but only a couple of times a week and my boyfriend really is enough to satisfy my social needs. Other than that I love it, love it, love it. How else can I self reflect? I used to judge myself for wanting to be alone but now I really understand that it's just who I am and that's awesome!

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    1. I used to judge myself for the same thing Laura. :) But I really think alone time is healthy. I think if more people did it, they would like themselves and be more genuine! I like social interaction, but it needs to be pretty small. :)

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    2. oh just fyi.. your eyes are GORGEOUS... and I totally get you!! im an outgoing person.. yet i do love me some alone time.. <3

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  3. I can totally relate to this! Unfortunately, there are an awful lot of people who doesn't understand how someone can love being alone.

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    1. I agree! I think if more people were alone they would love themselves a lot more. The world needs more people who love themselves.

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  4. wonderful! This is so true. You need to be fine with being by yourself:) I too love my alone time and cherish it every moment I get.

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    1. Yes, everytime I hear "So, you'll have the house to yourself for the night." I get SUPER excited.

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  5. I used to fear being alone and do everything I could to avoid it. And then it was forced on me and I had no choice but to be all by myself. I struggled for a long time and then once I just sank in and accepted it, let it overtake me, I realized just what you did: it's important, healthy and NOT LONELY AT ALL to be alone. I always carry a card in my wallet that says, "I'm never alone; I have myself."

    I'm glad you have yourself too :)

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    1. That's exactly how I was. I used to hate it, and I was so unsure of myself... But being alone has given me a lot of confidence, that I wouldn't have otherwise. :)

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  6. wow - love this! i've always loved my alone time - to paint, to draw, to read, to sit outside in silence...it's true that so many people don't understand it! since i've become a full-time artist working from home, i'm alone more now while my husband's at work, and i always get comments like "aren't you lonely?" and "you need to get out more!" um, no i don't! i don't mind my own company... :)

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    1. Yes! I totally know what you mean.. people think there is something wrong with YOU because you like being alone. They just assume you are lonely and depressed. I'm sure it's the other way around in some cases!

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  7. I'm very much like that too. I have my boyfriend, and then I have friends at work and some outside of the office but what I love the most is just being myself by myself to gather energy and inspiration. Having people you love is important but I think learning to love yourself is above it all. :3

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    1. Yes, I agree with you 100%. I would never want to be alone forever.. But, if I needed to, I could. :)

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  8. I'm exactly the same way. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this!

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  9. I completely understand this, and am the same way :) I enjoy my alone time greatly and get so much accomplished. Being around other people just gets in the way of so much...

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    1. It totally does. I like to be with friends and family sometimes... but certainly not a daily thing. I would just never get anything done!

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  10. I love my alone time, it allows me to get myself 'centred' and also who can't say no to blasting your music, dancing in your underwear and singing into your hairbrush because there's no one to watch?

    Remy / Cinnamon Bubbles

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    1. Haha yes! I don't think I've ever done THAT before.. One day maybe. I would be afraid of someone coming home suddenly. :)

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  11. Such a great post! I love my alone time as well. And I love to stay some what independent.

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    1. Me too. I think independence is so important. A lot of couples don't seem to have it. They rely on their significant other a bit too much. A little dependence is good, it shows you care, but being independent shows you are strong.

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  12. You are so gorgeous!
    I love this post, really. A lot of girls in school think I'm "weird" because I don't like hanging out after school or going to their silly parties. They think I'm anti-social, but I'm not, at least I don't think I am. I just enjoy my time thinking and doing things that make ME happy, rather than constantly worrying about other people's emotions & needs. Is that selfish?
    xo Heather
    http://ahopelessnotebook.blogspot.com/

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    1. Aw thanks Heather! I don't think it's selfish or weird at all. One day when you aren't in school, you will be ahead because you are strong on your own. :)

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  13. I too love being alone and am excited when I hear I'll have the house alone. It's when I'm most productive and it recharges me. Some people (extroverts) I know get charged up by being around people. I do it, but to me it is a draining thing. I'm still coming to grips with my introversion, but I feel like I don't have to answer to anyone about it.

    Very poignant. Thanks for sharing.

    Blog: http://www.writerjimlandwehr.com/

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    1. Yes! Some people can be so draining. I have problems going into a large crowded room. There are just so many people and so many emotions. It drains me pretty quickly!

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  14. Rachael, this post is AMAZING! It totally speaks to me. So does your pink hair. Love it allllll:)

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    1. Thanks so much Mandy! My hair actually isn't this pink anymore.. I had to do a quick change so it's better for work. :( I'm a bit bummed. It was so fun!

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  15. One of the many cool things about my marriage is that we know how to give each other our own space and share it at the same time.

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    1. Brad must have learned this from you guys! One of my favorite things about being with brad, is that we don't always have to be together to be happy. :)

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  16. I have to said I love to be alone too my boyfriend always have a problem with me about that I need my time alone well Im always talking to my doggies jijiji they are the only one that understandme and do not judme :)

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    1. Aw I think that's wonderful. Wicket and I have special alone time each morning where we snuggle in bed and talk to each other. I talk to him in silly voices, and as far as I know, he doesn't judge me. :)

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  17. Thanks, I needed that. It makes me sad that most people are so plugged in today. They would have a cellphone chip implanted in their ear if they could.

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    1. That scares me! I would never want any chip inside me. But I do know people who are always texting, always on facebook, always online looking at OTHER people's stuff. It makes me sad for them.

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  18. I know exactly what you mean about spending extended time just you and your pet as well, my husband works long hours out of the house and at least every other day its just me and my little dog keeping each other company. She is much more than just a pet to me and every one says about how attached she is too me and what a strong connection we have.

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    1. That's how I was with Mowgli! We would have weeks where it was just me and him. When I looked at him, he wasn't a dog at all. I saw his soul. He was seriously my best friend!
      Now, I have wicket.. we don't get too much alone time to bond, and he is still in his needy puppy stage. But we bond each day. I think he will be a great friend once he grows up a bit. :)

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  19. I love being by myself and having space. I enjoy seeing my friends and doing things with others but I also love a bit of me time and I'm definitely at my most creative when I'm alone. You may like this video I came across a while back - http://pinterest.com/pin/278871401895906134/ :)

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  20. I love to be alone with myself.
    And it´s a little bit difficult with my son, so everu time he is in school, or with his grandparents I try to enjoy the most.
    Since he was born, I just had to learn how to coordinate my time(yes boy and father too).
    SO my times doing my acrylic bracelets are my refuge.

    Helena, from pulguinhasbeads.blogspot.com

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    1. I think having kids would make finding alone time hard.. but I'm glad you have your acrylic jewelry to be your refuge!

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  21. That's so true! Even with your alone time you have to be intentional about what you do and think for it to be really meaningful. I also hear ya about pets they get an intuition about you that people do not have. My furry pal LOVES to dance! She is always ready to hang out...she doesn't care if it means getting brushed, playing fetch, dancing, running, or just chilling while I do my own thing. :-)

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    1. So cute! My pup Mowgli LOVED to dance too! I would always turn on the Beatles and we would dance together. He would get up on his back legs and jump around. No matter what, dancing with him cheered me up!

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  22. I can relate to you on this one. Ever since I was a kid my mom said I was always playing by myself and as a teenager I would just lock myself in my room and enjoy being alone. Everytime I came out of my room my parents would say something like, "oh! Ashley's come out of her hole!". Even when I had friends over or I went to their house, I was always ready to go home or for them to go home after a while. Leave me to my thoughts please! I think now that I have a toddler and another one on the way I struggle with never having time to myself. Don't get me wrong, it's worth it, but I recently had a melt down due to being with my toddler 24/7. So, now my husband tries to give me that time to myself. This morning? I'm going to yard sales...by myself! I was so excited I couldn't sleep!

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    1. Aw that's so cute! I was like that too, except I would go outside and play and climb trees. :)
      I really think having kids would be hard for my alone time. Especially a toddler. Your husband seems like such a great man to give you some time you need... ESPECIALLY yard sales! how fun!!

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  23. great post! like you read my mind! haha i love to be alone, to take time and just be.. allow myself to think, relax, create, imagine. I think its very important, sadly most people around me may think other wise. its hard to convey the message that you need space, when others may see it as selfishness. I need my alone time to stay sane! lol thanks for the post!!

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