Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Clarity

A few nights ago we decided to hike up the canyon and watch a scary movie after it got dark. We packed up some blankets, snacks and the laptop and went on our merry way.  It's funny, I didn't know any of these people before I moved back. I was expecting to just hang out with my old group of friends, but I'm happy that I have made some new friends.
I was also very un-photogenic that night.
I straggled a bit (as usual) so I could get lots of pictures while there was good light.
This picture makes me laugh out loud always. The one slouching and walking silly is Bradley, my terrific boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to walk like that. I'm not sure why, I bet he didn't think I would post pictures. The night was fun, even though the laptop died right at the climax of the movie.

My favorite part of the night was going off to take pictures. 
The world was is beautiful, and I think I really needed to be reminded of it.
Lately I've been feeling like my brain is in a fog. It's so hard to explain. I haven't necessarily been sad or happy. I just don't know how I've felt lately. Normally I would wake up with hope in each day... but instead it has been foggy. I felt as if nothing I did mattered.. I felt hopeless.

But today I woke up with a little bit of clarity.

Last night Brad and I talked about how the world is changing, constantly. There isn't anything we can do to slow the change of the world. Things won't always be the way they are now.. at first that thought scared me. But then I realized that change isn't always bad, and most of the time it happens so slowly that we get used to it before we even realize things have changed. Then we talked about religion, free will, and the afterlife. I won't go into details of our discussion, since it lasted hours.. but it helped me gain some clarity in my life again.

Sometimes it seems "the world" doesn't want you to think for yourself. Our hearts and brains are taken out of the picture when it comes to free thinking and free will. Fear is used as a way to manipulate people, and it causes brain fog, confusion and hopelessness. We start to rely on others and the media to tell us what is right and wrong. I think that goes against what our natural instincts and the universe's whispers to us.

I feel like coming to an understanding of these things can help bring clarity. It's important to understand that not one person controls your life except for you... and you are the only one who can make your dreams come true...
And sometimes it's best to sit in a dark room and just think about it all. Focus on yourself, and what you truly want. And it's okay to ask questions about religion and spirituality, and the way you were brought up. It's okay to be yourself, even if it gets you into "trouble."

Because we are all living here together, and this is our only chance to do this..
Let's make our lives beautiful.


"If you realize that all things change,
          there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
          If you aren't afraid of dying,
          there is nothing you can't achieve."


12 comments:

  1. My husband and I always have discussions about religion and even though I don't always agree or if I believe differently, I always come out of those conversations feeling more spiritually connected with him. I think that's what free will is all about: being able to ask questions and come up with your own answers. In the end, do what makes you happy because that's one of the main reasons we are here. We are not living this life for anyone but ourselves.

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  2. My sister died in November 2010. It devastated me. Unlike other deaths that were close to me her passing was different. It was totally unexpected. Before she died she had been reading a book titled HEAVEN by Randy Alcorn. I decided to get it and take it out to her grave site to read alongside her. I am sooo glad I did. It was like a light turned on inside of me. She's not here! I mean in this grave. I highly recommend this book. It was so comforting and whether I agree with everything or not it gave me hope :-)
    Lisa

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  3. love this! questioning and wondering and disbelieving and believing is healthy. so glad things are going good for you.

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  4. Lisa, I'm sooo sorry to hear about your sister. I'm glad this book brought comfort to you. I have plans to go to the book store on Friday. I will for look it up! Thanks so much for sharing this with me! xoxo

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  5. just wondering, where did you get your moccasins? i love them.

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  6. Hey Alycia! I am honestly not sure where I got them! I moved away for a few years and had to leave 80% of my clothes.. then when I came back it was like Christmas! I discovered lots of clothes that I left behind. I THINK I got them from forever 21, or h&m.. I altered them a little so the laces go through the tongue of the moccasins, instead of just around. I hope you can find some like them! They are super comfy! :)

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  7. Wow your friend has a very similar style to yours.

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  8. ooh, love the one with the flowers sticking up and the mountains out of focus in the background! and the deer!

    i'm so happy you have some clarity. and i love that you said 'the universe's whispers to us.'

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  9. Dayna Hutchieson, Haha yes.. I've noticed that lately. ;)
    Thanks Brthany Susan! That one picture is one of my favorites too!

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  10. Beautiful pictures! Do you live in Utah? Isn't that waterfall called Bridal Veil Falls up Provo Canyon?

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  11. Hey Katelyn! I DO live in Utah! Are you here also? We went up Provo canyon to watch a scary movie. It was super fun. Provo canyon is one of my favorite places. :)

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  12. I live in Draper. Utah is such a pretty place!

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