Moment By Moment

i woke up this morning to a 62 degree house.
the heater is currently broken, and my landlord is notorious for taking forever to fix things.
it even snowed last night. i got out of bed, quickly put on my wool socks and turned on the heated blanket i just knew i had to have. which reminds me of a story i need to tell you next week.
i got up, turned on the blanket, and both animals jumped to snuggle up under the blanket. 

i've called, and emailed the people to come fix it, but it did take 2 months to get the swamp cooler fixed. so i have my doubts. If you have any tips on staying warm in a cold cold house, do let us know. 

 last night was full of weird dreams. i saw on facebook earlier, that i'm not the only one who experienced that. lots of people had some crazy dreams. maybe it's the new moon? 
anyways, last night i dreamed about a man, and how he died. i woke up because my ear was itching like crazy, like someone had put their finger in it! i woke up from that to hear my door beads move like someone ran out of my bedroom. it was nuts as wicket snuggles with me, and anubis sleeps in the bathroom. (he can't contain his kitty powers at night and runs around the house if left out...) 
interesting stuff. i'm going to need to take time to write down all my dreams. i remember at least 7 from last night. 

i guess this post is just a talking post. i don't talk to people much. working from home can get pretty lonely. but i'm happy to say i've had a lot of orders this month, and my tarot readings have been good, and i'm very happy to announce i am able to pay rent this month! hah. the thing with working from home, is it's an adventure, and some months are slow. 
i know that if I freak out about it, i'll just worry. instead, i've been taking it one day at a time. it's been nice. 
like today, i'm going to spend the afternoon reading, i'm going to go pay rent, then run a few errands. pick up some shipping supplies, yarn, and maybe some paint. and tonight possibly do a new moon ceremony, and paint. 
it's going to be lovely. i love focusing on moments. 

thanks for letting me talk, i'll get back to staying warm. 

oh ps! this just arrived on my doorstep! stamps of MY art! yay! 
giveaway coming soon!

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Clarity

A few nights ago we decided to hike up the canyon and watch a scary movie after it got dark. We packed up some blankets, snacks and the laptop and went on our merry way.  It's funny, I didn't know any of these people before I moved back. I was expecting to just hang out with my old group of friends, but I'm happy that I have made some new friends.

I was also very un-photogenic that night.

I straggled a bit (as usual) so I could get lots of pictures while there was good light.

This picture makes me laugh out loud always. The one slouching and walking silly is Bradley, my terrific boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to walk like that. I'm not sure why, I bet he didn't think I would post pictures. The night was fun, even though the laptop died right at the climax of the movie.

My favorite part of the night was going off to take pictures. 

The world was is beautiful, and I think I really needed to be reminded of it.

Lately I've been feeling like my brain is in a fog. It's so hard to explain. I haven't necessarily been sad or happy. I just don't know how I've felt lately. Normally I would wake up with hope in each day... but instead it has been foggy. I felt as if nothing I did mattered.. I felt hopeless.

But today I woke up with a little bit of clarity.

Last night Brad and I talked about how the world is changing, constantly. There isn't anything we can do to slow the change of the world. Things won't always be the way they are now.. at first that thought scared me. But then I realized that change isn't always bad, and most of the time it happens so slowly that we get used to it before we even realize things have changed. Then we talked about religion, free will, and the afterlife. I won't go into details of our discussion, since it lasted hours.. but it helped me gain some clarity in my life again.

Sometimes it seems "the world" doesn't want you to think for yourself. Our hearts and brains are taken out of the picture when it comes to free thinking and free will. Fear is used as a way to manipulate people, and it causes brain fog, confusion and hopelessness. We start to rely on others and the media to tell us what is right and wrong. I think that goes against what our natural instincts and the universe's whispers to us.

I feel like coming to an understanding of these things can help bring clarity. It's important to understand that not one person controls your life except for you... and you are the only one who can make your dreams come true...
And sometimes it's best to sit in a dark room and just think about it all. Focus on yourself, and what you truly want. And it's okay to ask questions about religion and spirituality, and the way you were brought up. It's okay to be yourself, even if it gets you into "trouble."

Because we are all living here together, and this is our only chance to do this..
Let's make our lives beautiful.

"If you realize that all things change,           there is nothing you will try to hold on to.           If you aren't afraid of dying,           there is nothing you can't achieve."

Wanting Change, A Cliff Hanger, Random Ranting, And A Funny Picture

I've been wanting to change my blog banner.. again. I'm silly like that. I normally go through cycles where I change it up a lot and finally I like one for more than a month. That one stays for about 3 months before I want another change. I will find one I like soon. So I'm sure you will see some change soon.
However I plan on keeping the current one up for another month or so.. you see I kind of have to.

I don't want to say too much, but my blog is being featured somewhere quite special. I can't get into details yet.. but all the people who follow me on twitter know! (I let it slip..)

So, I need to keep the banner the same in order to not confuse people.

I am sure you have noticed.. I like to use double, sometimes triple periods a lot. (..) It's starting to bother me. So, I'm trying very hard not to. I just think that how I talk, there would be lots of little periods. Mostly because I like to have little spaces... you know for dramatic effect.

Anyways, I'm so excited about the new jewelry guys! I've been going to antique stores, gem shows, and even looking in nature for my supplies. I don't want to use craft store supplies. So, these will all be very special!

Okay, now for the funny picture.

 Wicket and I decided to take a little nap yesterday. I wanted to snap a cute picture of the two of us, but Wicket had other plans. He started moving around a lot kicking and squirming. He forced his little head into my throat which caused us to do quite the funny face. Good thing I still snapped the picture.
I then sent it to some friends and exclaimed, "I quit photography, I just took the best picture that will ever be taken. Ever. I can't progress any further."
Of course this isn't true...

I laughed really hard.
I am laughing now.
It feels like the weekend.
But it is not.


Thanks for letting me talk to you!

Success

Success means something different to everyone. Take a moment and think about what success means to you. Now think of where you got that image of success from. 

Society leads us to believe that in order to be successful we need to have a good paying a job, a nice home, a nice car and enough money to travel each year. On top of that we have to have the perfect body and the perfect family. (Or at least have the perfect body.)

(Think of all the tv shows out there that have a working hot wife, and a fat lazy husband.)

The world teaches us to believe that we need to go to college right out of high school, and if you don't.. you are a failure. The world teaches us that your job is your life. 

The question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a terrible question to ask a child. It's even more terrible when the child gets scorned for saying they want to be a mommy, an artist, a musician or any other "impractical, poor paying job".

The best thing in life is that you can literally do whatever YOU want to do. You don't have to listen to society and the media. College and work doesn't define you.  It's up to you to define yourself to the world. If you don't want a mainstream job, don't get one. Figure something else out. 

Once way or another it is going to be difficult. 

You need to learn to stand on your own two feet, and take care of yourself. It's time to sift through all the crap you've been taught about how to behave, how to look, how much to weigh, what to drive, where to work, what to wear, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living. 

Believe it or not,

You are in control.

You are in control of your own life.

You are the reason why you are happy or sad.

So don't wait for happiness. 

Go out and find it.

Right now.

 

It's time to learn how to truly give back to the universe. It's time to start creating and contributing to the world... but in your very own way.

Don't let others make you believe you are a failure just because you don't measure up to their definition of success.

This is your life, and your only shot to be happy.