Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A Stressed Mess

These last few days have been beyond stressful. Sterling is sick, real sick. He's got strep throat again and nothing seems to be easing his symptoms. He's taking an antibiotic, as well as lots of garlic, cayenne pepper, honey, lemon, peppermint, lots and lots of tea, and my homemade chicken noodle soup. He's stayed about the same if not gotten a little worse..

He's going to be upset that I told you this, but I think a lot of this has to do with anger and holding onto it. Sterling isn't an angry person, but he does have some things from his past that he is still angry about. He also is very hard on himself. Right now, he is frustrated with himself that he has been so sick and unable to work. I tell him to not be so angry with himself and the situation.. and he asks how? I don't have an answer.. How does someone release anger?
One of my favorite quotes..

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
-Mark Twain

I don't have a problem with anger, but I am hard on myself as well. I tend to stress myself out much more than needed. I've been focusing on getting gifts finished, taking care of Sterling, and a myriad of other things that needed to get done. I barely ate yesterday! I made myself a cup of hot cocoa, and had to reheat it at least 5 times! And I made toast, but forgot about it for a few hours.

Finally, as the day was winding down into the quiet of the night, Sterling and I were up watching Elf trying to get some laughs. I got an email from the rental agency explaining that they were going to raise rent 60.00. It was just about too much to handle.

We paused the movie and went over the new contract. They used such big unneeded words! I had to reread it a few times to understand it. They kept throwing around the word covenant instead of contract. I was raised to know a covenant is a sacred promise... I was pretty baffled at this new contract. Stating that if I was late on a single payment they had the rights to auction my stuff after one week. I've never heard of that! I've also never been late on a payment... But still. It's scary stuff.

I wrote her back explaining that the 60.00 a month was too high, and I was still in contract with the original one until September. Basically... they can do whatever they want because they can afford an attorney, and I can't.  I feel they have been so sneaky with me. Trying to slip in new bills, rules and "covenants." But, there is no way I'm moving in December when there is 3 feet of snow!

I let her know of my worries and concerns and she agreed to only raise rent by 50.00. The raised rent would help cover the insulation costs for the attic and in turn lower all of my utilities.. They also agreed to have the gas bill split, but they didn't say how it would be split. I'm still waiting to hear back on that.

I have to have this new contract signed by Christmas.. Once Sterling is awake and feeling better I hope to put the contracts side by side and make some notes of each with his help. Since this new contract says nothing about pets, or even yard care.

I barely slept last night. This has all been too stressful. I know everything will work out as needed... but what if... what if.... things worked out to where I just didn't have any problems ever again? And my life was peaceful, and I didn't have to move ever again unless I wanted to. What if people were honest, and kind, and I didn't have to worry if I could trust someone.. What if my life could be stress free??  I guess it would start to get pretty boring. And now I look forward to finding a new home in September.

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  1. It is my understanding that once you are locked into a rental contract they have no business raising the cost until a new contract is signed. But then home rental laws must be different in the USA. I don't know about this one.
    You're right about the anger business. I got truly sick this year - immune system crashed, and I couldn't get out of it for a whole three months. It was a culmination of physical and emotional strain. In order to get better I had to stop everything I was doing including the sad and angry feelings. Not an easy thing to do. I still get angry, but it's easier to take a break from doing things than taking a break from emotions.
    Hope next week is easier for all of us.

  2. My dear... (Unsolicited Advice Alert!) check if you have some rental advocacy agencies locally. I know here that the local Samaritan Society advocate for renters and folks with limited income. They even have lawyers pro bono! It is absolutely unacceptable to raise a person's rent - especially with a contract - during the Winter months. The company has you because they know it's very, very hard to move in the dead of Winter. They just want money... bottom line.
    As far as strep throat, antibiotics, yes, but an analgesic will take turn the pain down in the throat so the person can relax and swallow food. There are cough drops that dull the back of the throat or I use something called S.T. 37, it's a slightly oily and sweet antiseptic, analgesic that you can use topically for burns and cuts and if you cut it with warm water in a ratio of 1 to 2 or 1 to 3 you can gargle with it and it will absolutely make the back of throat feel better. When you're that sick, you can't be mad. You just have to release and let go and acquiesce to the healing process. Surrender is the only thing you can do. All these little health suggestions go with all the wonderful things that you are already doing. I wish you well. ~ C. Ruth

  3. I hope the New Year brings you less stress! Those are fantastic quotes, thank you for sharing them.

  4. I'm really sorry you're dealing with all of this! I hope Sterling feels better soon and I think it best to find a new place in September! Take your time to look for some good landlords that won't surprise you with stuff like this! I hope you have a good weekend!


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