Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Feeling A Bit Reborn

I woke up today with a huge epiphany.
It must be the 12-12-12 reborn feeling. (Read about that here
I woke up and realized, I don't like my life right now.
I'm working too much, and doing too few fun things.
I often pull 12 hour days, and come home dead tired. The last thing I want to do is paint, or go out and take photos and explore. That isn't like me. I love to find adventure. I love to meditate outside. I love to explore and take photographs. Instead, I come home dragging my feet in exhaustion, I sit next to my puppy on the couch and I just sit. Unable to do anything else. Unable to think of things to post on the blog. Unable to sketch in my book.  I have two weeks left of teaching, and I'm back at the flower shop working extra hours since a lot of people quit. I'm overworking myself with things that I don't like.
I used to be a full time artist, traveling the country and exploring. I miss that. I will have that again.
I may need to take a leap.... quit my jobs and just try.
That's a scary thought, but I would be so happy.

I'm speaking at a student's graduation tomorrow.. I have yet to write the speech, but I think I'm going to be talking about wasting potential... and how much potential we all have, and why it would be a shame to sit idly by, just existing instead of doing what we love. In preparing for this speech, I have realized how many days I have wasted just by working. I've been working like this for over 8 months, and I'm done.

This new year.... I am done overworking. Done working a job that doesn't mean anything to me. I will focus on my art and my blog and make that my full time job. Even if it means being poor.
I would rather be poor and painting, then well fed and busy.

I just thought I would share that all with you.
Because life is short, and each year passes faster than the previous one.

7 comments:

  1. This is great! My dad posted this video on Facebook a couple weeks ago, and I've been meaning to post it on my blog. http://youtu.be/yUTeEjf8V1k It's about doing what you love. That it's better to live a short, poor life doing something that makes you happy, than live a long rich one where you are miserable.

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  2. I have been feeling the same way recently and struggling with other peoples expectations of me. thank you for this :)

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  3. I often feel the same, like I'm living in a box and never go outside to explore. I love blogging too, take picture and share it. :)
    I envy you, you're good at painting. That is my wish if I could choose what talent I could have. :)
    Cheer and keep fighting

    http://puputnopitasari.blogspot.com/

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  4. I love this! I feel that's what ends up happening to a lot of us. We become swallowed by our jobs and we start to lose focus on what we really want to do with out lives. I hope starting this new year your able to get back to the person you were, doing the things you love and never stop! It's already a struggle getting back into doing the things we love so never give up!

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  5. Love this! Life is way too short to spend being miserable!

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  6. You took the words right out of my mouth! I really needed to hear that today!
    I have been working too much for 5 years, a full time day job and a full time overnight job, working 16 hours, for 4 years and now I only have a part time overnight job. I have had enough too.
    People's expectations of me and what I "should" do is clashing violently with what I "need" to do to stay true to myself.
    I want to write, and do DIY projects. I know I will need a job to be able to actually do that until I start earning, but I just need a "job" to pay the bills and have enough food in my stomach, I don't need to work all day and all night, it makes me too exhausted and I end up just thinking about doing the stuff I'd love to do and that isn't going to get me started on my dreams. I must begin now.
    New Year, New ME!
    Thanks for posting this and I thank myself for finding it! LOL

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