Friday, September 7, 2012

Solitaire

I'm playing a game of solitaire right now. 
My relationship has been set to single for a while now.
And I must say, I'm doing well. 

 I don't want to be the type who goes from relationship to relationship. 
I want to be the type who can stand on their own two feet.
I want to be strong with myself.
For myself.
Because in the end, that will only help my future relationship.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm single, not looking, and quite happy.

I don't feel like I need to rush. 
If something is bound to happen, it will happen.
 In the right time, with the right person, for the right reasons.
 
There are definitely bad days where I wish I could have someone hold me and tell me things will be alright.
When things get tough, the only person I have is myself. 
Which isn't actually a problem, because I can trust myself more than I can trust anyone else in this world.
And, if anyone is going to make things alright, it will be me. 

I've been alone before. 
And like I've said many times, alone doesn't mean lonely. 

I've also been extremely picky with who I've let around me.
I've been on a few dates, and I've asked to be taken home early because I was treated poorly.
I've kicked boys out of my house for being rude to me. 
I've flat out turned people down, without tact.
I've let people know I'm not looking for a relationship,
then about ripped heads off when they said they just wanted me physically.


Like I said, I'm not rushing things. 
I'm focusing on me, and my work, and my life.
The perfect guy will fit in perfectly.  
 
 And right now, that perfect guy happens to be Wicket.


Though I will tell you guys a secret... 
 I've got a crush on a certain boy. 
He lives far away. 
We write letters.
And currently, that's exactly what I need,
Hopefully Mystery Boy won't look at this.
Awkward. 

 

5 comments:

  1. I think it's great to have a mystery boy off in the ether somewhere.

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  2. well dang, Rachael, how far away is this mystery guy? Are you afraid that if you tell him you are crushing, that he will stop writing? I'm a lot older than you, so I can say this. Test the waters Rachael. You might find him crushing on you too.
    My husband and I met by a complete fluke. We met in Washington, but we both lived in CA, him southern, me northern. I knew he was the one from the first meeting. Took him a bit longer, but 22 years of marriage later, here we are. Hugs

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  3. Does he happen to like Gypsy wagons? :) Loved this post particularly today, when my middle daughter is struggling so with letting go of a boy who is just not worthy of her. There is much pain involved. I wish for her to fall in love with herself as it sounds you have. I wish that for every single girl in the world.

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  4. I don't usually like to leave links to my blog on another blog (because I feel like it's a weird, 'look at my blog' spammy kinda thing that I feel really badly doing) however, I think you would really like the story of how my husband and I got together--after I was happily single for a while, after we were friends for years (writing back and forth when he went away to college and moved to the opposite coast), and how he asked me to move 3,000 miles out west days after our first day. I was very independent, loving life with my devoted Siamese kitty, and it was the right person at the right time who made all the difference and made a fantastic life even just a little more wonderful. So, if you want to read it, it's here: http://www.georgiadunnstudio.com/2012/04/our-story.html If not, totally understand!

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  5. First day should be first date, whoops! Days after our first date :)

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