Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Signs Of Life

I woke up this morning with the sting of yesterday still in my heart.
A sting that I've been very familiar with for the last while.
Nearly a year.

The sting is here so much, that I'm afraid it will stay.
I'm becoming numb to it even. Used to this pain, almost dead inside.

Yesterday was so hard. 
Because everyone there knew how much I needed this job.
They knew about my bills, my debt, my car. 
And yet, still had the fortitude to say "We just can't afford to keep you."
All while planning a two week trip to Venice while I was still in the office.
I worked 4 days a week.. only a few hours a day. 
Yet it seems I was swapped out.

I held myself together, though I was livid. 
I kept my chin up all day, because if I tilted my head down,
 gravity would win, and the tears would fall.

Wondering how someone could do something like that to someone.
No warning. Not even a sorry.

I woke up this morning in search for signs of life within myself.
Yet, I found it elsewhere. 

It's spring, a season of change.. 
And signs of life are everywhere.
Though, I'm still searching for signs inside myself, 
here are some signs of life I was able to find.
Blossoms growing downtown
Audrey 3 my Venus flytrap
Al, my Aloe Vera plant, growing next to Audrey 3 (on his right) and Ping Tan (Basil, on his left.)
We splurged a few days ago, and spent 13 cents on two fish.
Refrigeratorcopter, and Demographic. 
I've never seen a more content boy. These are his first fish.
Wicket loves to play in the grass and sunshine.
Our lawn is popping with purple flowers.
Wicket chooses eating a stick or chewing his toy.
The flower Brad bought me when he heard about my awful day.
My littler seeds are sprouting.

Right now, it's pretty difficult to find life in myself.
But there is beautiful life all over the place..
And maybe it's okay to experience these dead times.
Because they always pass. Even if only for a little while.

Until then, I will focus on the signs of life sprouting all over the world.


  1. First off, big hugs, this too shall pass.
    Second, the universe obviously requires your services elsewhere, so when a job quits you, that frees you up to listen to spirit and move in a new direction.The world is your candy store, so go find something sweet.

  2. OR... get a job at a candy store. ^^ :D

  3. So sorry! Hope you'll feel better and happier soon. Seems you have some lovely things to cheer you up though, that's good!

  4. So sorry to hear about your job, that's rough. I know you will find something even better! Sending good thoughts your way.

  5. Ohh that's so lame about your job!!! How rude of them, not even a sorry?! I would be livid too!!! I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason" (tres cliche, I know) so hopefully this means bigger, brighter and better things are waiting for you? :) *fingers crossed* xx

  6. I'm so sorry things are not great right now, that sucks!! But I too believe everything happens for a reason. When one door closes, another opens.

  7. So sorry you are in pain right now...
    but even that first photo of Wicket put a big smile on my face. :)
    You have persevered through tougher challenges, and you have many fans and supporters all over the world who admire your courage and integrity!
    These photos are just beautiful.
    Sending you good wishes,
    Mary (& Daphne)

  8. ::HUGS:: Something bigger and way better is out there!! This is just getting out of your way so you will be available when that opportunity comes! You're brilliant, inspiring, and talented. Keep your head up!

  9. I'm sorry to hear about your job. I hope things look up for you.

  10. you're one strong lady, you will get through this.
    sending love and hugs
    Knit, Nicole, Knit!

  11. I hope it all works out, dear :)

  12. So sorry about your job. I hope it all works out and there is something better out there for you. Cyber hugs in the meantime.

  13. So sorry about your job. I hope things work out for the better in the end.

  14. Oh my goodness you poor thing! Here I have been feeling sorry for myself because I can't afford a lot of things right now and my own car is (still, after six months) not fixed yet, and I'm stressed about work. Thank you for reminding me to look for signs of life around me! I need to be grateful that my car still gets me to a job that I still have (and will have until I decide to go), and that my bills are paid. These pictures are amazing, as are you. Remember, when a door closes, sometimes you just have to climb out a window instead!

  15. it is so very hard to stay positive, i know and understand! you just keep at it. take some time to have a small pity party, then get out and find you a better, higher pay, more fun job!!!!! you are amazing and im so glad i found your blog! dont forget how much we all love you! and you have a super cute man in your life that sits and watches fish with his cute boxers hanging out of his jeans, he loves outdoors, adventures, and YOU!!!! it will get better!!!


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