A Needed Break

 I lay in bed with my winter coat buttoned up fully. 

Hood on, covering my eyes.

My winter boots were still on, traces of snow still on the bottom.

 I was under the blankets, face down. 

I was the picture of pity.

and the face of hopelessness. 

 Why?

My car won't start.

Pretty silly thing to cry about. 

But the thing is, I was crying for more than that.

My car was broken.

This is my first car ever.

I don't have the money to fix it.

How will I get to work? How will I get to the Post Office?

I thought to myself that I'm nearly in the same position as I was in this time last year!

Helpless and depending on others.

I felt as if I had made no progression. 

That's when the tears really came.

All day I had been thinking of ways to get my car to a shop.

Find someone to come take a look at it.

I was wishing the car fairy would come by and wave his wand over my car.

(The car fairy is a boy.. I'm sure)

While thinking and pondering I would sigh loudly.

I promised everyone I wasn't meaning to be melodramatic. 

That's just my way of letting all the negativity out.

My main concern is how will I get around.

I hate depending on others.

I'm severely independent.

To the point where I won't let Brad carry the heavy groceries.

So, there I was in bed, crying.

It was dark out, and there was nothing more that could be done on the car that night.

I had to accept the fact that I was going to need rides.

I lay there in Brad's arms.

Getting mascara all over his new sweatshirt. 

He told me over and over everything would be okay.

Sometimes, that's all I need.

I told him that, just to make him say it again.

I finally stopped crying and realized,

I'm not in the same place as I was last year.

Because this time I've got a house, two warm puppies, a car that has potential to start again,

and best of all.. people who love me, who are willing to help.

So I got up, and formulated a ride schedule with Destinee and Brad.

I planned it out in my mind what to do next.

I'm a lucky girl to have them.

I also realized, there are lots of other people in the world with problems greater than mine.

There is no use crying over a car, when some people don't even have homes, or food.

In other news, I will be closing the hat shop for Christmas early.

Next Monday, Brad and I are going to Disneyland! 

Now, before anyone goes thinking,

"Sheesh Rachael! Why would you go to Disneyland if you just spent all day crying about not being able to afford car repairs?! If you can afford Disneyland, you can afford your car repairs."

My answer is,

"We booked everything in advance."

The same thing happened when Mowgli got sick.

I had a ton of medical bills to pay for,

but up and went to Disneyland.

My answer is,

"We booked everything in advance."

Let me tell you something about booking in advance...
It's non refundable. But, you are smart. You knew that.

But, this is the second time something scary and expensive has happened right before a trip.

Maybe it is the universe giving me a good excuse to take a break.

Who knows.

This week I will be closing my hat shop.

It won't be for good, it will only be temporary.

For now.

To be honest, I've been wanting to close down the shop "Talk2thetrees" for a while now.

I haven't been adding anything new, or even relisting.

It's just that each hat takes nearly 3 hours to make,

(Some take 4!!)

and that's getting to be a bit time consuming, 

especially when all I want to do is paint.

One of my biggest goals this year is to close down my hat shop.

Strange that someone wants less sales.. right?

I'm fully aware that this may seem silly.

My hat shop does so well.

But, I'm not in this for the money or the sales.

I just want to paint.

So, while my goal is to close the hat shop down, 

my other goal is to boost views in my art shop.

Now you've read a pretty random post from the mind of Rachael.

Let's continue on with our days.