Broken

I broke yesterday.

My energy and battery was drained,
all of my parts were malfunctioning.
I was no longer working properly.
My brain was short circuiting.

This has been a hell of a week.
My car broke down, which landed me carless.
Then this?!

Today, my house flooded.
A water main broke, and filled up my bedroom window.
The house was under 4-5 inches of water in 4-5 minutes.
But, that's not when I broke.

Everything in my bedroom was floating.
Cords, shoes, socks, clothes.
I didn't break then either.

My workshop was under water.
Paintings were wet, yarn was soaked.
Supplies ruined, irreplaceable things.. gone.
yet, I was still functioning at this point.

We called for help. They came within the hour.
We were told we couldn't go back home for a few days.
First carless, then homeless.
That's when I broke.

(The hallway and bathroom)

I'm over 20 orders behind with my hat shop.
I've got a lot of work to do before this non refundable vacation.
And now, I'm not allowed back in.

I was broken.
I didn't feel a thing.
Nothing.
I didn't cry, I didn't laugh.
I just was.
Broken.

I put the pets in their safe warm beds.
I got my most important things and put them in a safe place
I packed up all my supplies,
and piled them on the couch so the carpets could be sucked dry.
I took down the Christmas tree,
 put all the wet presents in a safe spot.

Hours of hat making time, wasted.

(Putting things in a safe spot.)

Then I snapped.

It all hit me.
I wanted to melt onto the floor.
Like a puddle of water.
I didn't want to fight this anymore.
I just wanted to spill myself onto the ground.

I would match my surroundings. 

Disheveled, chaotic, messy.

That was me.

But then I remembered..
I don't give in.
Not me.
I will continue to fight.
I will kick this trial in the butt just like the last one.
If the universe is going to keep giving me trials,
I will succeed.. because I'm a tough girl.

(I was bare foot in the cold water since all of my shoes got soaked)

I've heard people say "This is going to be my Year."
Or month, or even week..
But life doesn't give us a whole year or even a week.
Life gives us moments.
Moments  of triumphs.
Moments of ups.
But also moments of downs.

We don't get a whole week of greatness.
We don't get a whole week of downfall.

We only get moments.

And while this week has seemed like one giant wreck…
It hasn't all been bad.

Even when I broke for a bit. 

I was able to laugh about it later, and even see a bright side.


If we weren't home when it happened, it would have been a lot worse.

Even 5 minutes would have made a difference.
I consider myself lucky to have caught the flood before it got very very bad.

I consider myself lucky to not have died from all of the cords and electricity floating in the water.

I consider myself lucky to have a warm bed to sleep in, even if I have to share it with Charlie. 

(Who farts and snores all night.)

(The water finally started to soak in my bedroom)

Today, I equipped myself with a stiff upper lip and water proof mascara.

I went back into the house to see my losses.

Several of my favorite things, broken.

Over 25 original paintings, ruined. 

All of my clothes, and shoes, soaked.

I've moved my shop into Brad's Mom's house. 

I'm staying there with the doggies for a bit.

The house won't be back to normal for a few weeks, 

all that matters to me right now is that I get my orders out.

Then my own stuff in order.

It's been a hell of a week..

I'm still planning on going to California, 

because.. goodness knows.

I need a vacation.

(where my shop used to be)