Letting Go Of Worry

I used to worry a lot. 

I mean A LOT.

When I was younger, the thought of an earthquake kept me up all night.

I had nightmares of tidal waves and fires. I didn't want to sleep!

When I was in high school I worried about my grades, and getting in trouble with my parents. 

I used to obsess with not getting in trouble with my parents, or disappointing them.

I couldn't have a good time with my friends, because of it.

I was never late for curfew. I never skipped a class.

When I was in college I worried about money, and grades, and still disappointing my parents.

When I was getting married I worried about my future, my parents, my (now ex) husband and I getting a divorce. 

I was constantly worried and stressed. I knew it wasn't healthy, but I just didn't know what to do.

The anxiety would keep me up at night.

It made me sick to my stomach. 

I would stay up late watching tv (of all things!) until I was so tired I would just fall asleep.

It was pretty bad.

One day, I went to see a doctor about an unrelated problem, 

but she could tell I was stressed.

I told her I was worried.

My mom had been sick for a while, 

I was about to get married, and was unsure about it.

I was sick, I was poor. 

I was worried about a lot of things at that time.

I didn't really lay it all on her, but I let her know I was worried about a lot of things.

She said this:

"Most of the things you worry about will never happen. Stop wasting time worrying."

She didn't say these words in the most polite tone, in fact it was rather gruff.

I shrugged it off and thought. 

"She doesn't even care!"

Then a few years passed, and I realized she was right. 

Only some of the things I worried about happened, and that's just life.

Eventually I just let go of all the worry.

It was a journey, and sometimes I still find myself on it.

But my life is not ruled by worry anymore.

I decided one day, 

I'm just going to let it happen, take it as it comes, and watch it as it leaves.

If it isn't directly affecting me, I'm not going to worry about it.

Because life is short, and I'm not going to waste it worrying

about things that aren't happening, and things that probably won't happen.

I realized that if it does happen.

I will recover. 

I think it's personal for everyone.

Everyone's journey is different, but here are some tips that helped me.

Stop caring about everyone's opinion of you.

Unless it's a job interview, or a first impression don't look too much into everyone's opinions of you.

Most of them don't matter, and they won't be in your life long enough anyways. 

Don't trap yourself by dogma, which is living your life with the results of other people's thinking. 

Stop caring about looking a certain way.

Live your own life, for yourself.  There is no right way to dress or wear your hair.

Be yourself, just the way you are, and the way you know how. 

Where clothes and styles you feel comfortable wearing.

Trying to look like someone else is a waste of your own beauty.

Being yourself is a form of courage.

Stop caring about what everyone else wants from you.

This is a tough one. A lot of people who deeply care about you will give you advice.

Sometimes it's pretty awful advice.

Parents who have "been there before" or "know what's best" for you, 

will give advice and you feel obligated to take it.

You don't have to.

People have hopes for you, and expectations.. but you don't have to live up to them.

Don't be trapped by someone's expectations of you.

Worry about your own expectations of yourself.

Remember, having expectations is the first step to disappointment.. 

If someone has expectations of you, that's their problem!

Stop caring about what everyone else has.

For some reason, this is hard for me. It's something I've been working on for over a year now.

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, stop!

Turn off the tv, close the magazine, turn off the computer... do what you need to do.

Ignorance is bliss.

There are honestly things I don't do anymore because of this one.

And that's fine!

There are blogs I don't go to anymore, websites I don't visit. 

I don't read fashion magazine's or watch tv. 

There are just some things out there that will make me compare myself to other people, and once that happens I start to worry all over again, and it's a terrible cycle.

So, I've learned to not go there. 

It gets easier and easier. 

Stop caring about mistakes.

The biggest mistake you can make is not doing anything because you are afraid of making a mistake.

Mistakes teach us valuable lessons, and each one makes you stronger.

No matter what, it's a win-win!

You either succeed or your learn something from it.

Life isn't about getting chances, it's about taking chances.

If you don't take a chance, you will never know. 

Who wants to be stuck in the same place forever?

Stop caring for things you can't control.

There are just some things we can't control. Crazy crazy things are going to happen, and there is nothing we can do about that. What we can do, is have a good attitude about it.

Roll with the punches, and accept the things that happen as they happen. 

Once they are gone, stop dwelling on them.

Stop caring about what isn't directly affecting you.

This one is huge for me. It's about living in the moment, not in the future or the past. 

It takes time and practice, and one of the best things I've ever done.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is say,

"So what?"