Saturday, March 16, 2013

Collecting Feathers

It's that time of year where I'm just a bit sad... 
I lost my pup Mowgli two years ago today. 
And it's still really rough for me. 

Even before Mowgli got sick I called him my "Sunshine."
This dog saved my life.

If you are new to this blog, you may not know..
I used to be depressed, very depressed.
I went through this depression, suicidal thoughts, loneliness
and an abusive marriage with only one thing.

I called him my sunshine because he really did bring a light into my life.
He helped bring me out of depression.
He gave me a reason to live.
He made me happy when skies were gray...

And two months after my divorce was final, he passed away.

The words "Please don't take my sunshine away"
make me collapse in tears.

He is no longer here on this physical plane..
But I feel him.
He has shifted roles from a dog to a guiding angel.
I know this because I can still feel him.. and he leaves me feathers when I need them.

And last night I dreamed I was collecting his feathers.
The little blue-grey ones.. that match his blue-grey coat.
I miss him terribly, the way a best friend misses a best friend.
But I feel him.

I stumbled on this image today,

It made me cry and look to Wicket.
The loving timid little Wicket,
who is snuggled up to me,
looking up at me, smacking his lips.
Worried about me.
Loving me.

Because what more can we do?
We've got to just keep loving.

 I'm thankful for Mowgli, and the lessons he taught me, and continues to teach me.
How he taught me love, and be happy.
And he left me so I could love another..

Because it's Wicket's turn to be a dog and receive my unconditional love.

And it's my turn to receive the unconditional love of a dog, and an angel dog.

And I say this through tearful eyes,
I'm a very very lucky girl.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss, Rachael. <3 Though I am so glad you and Mowgli had such a happy life together. He had love in his heart when he passed, remember that. Plus, you have your sweet little Wicket now. Like you said, that's a wonderful thing.

    Take care, lady. I've been there. I know it's tough.

  2. So sorry for your loss. Its amazing how such tiny creatures can weasel their way into our hearts forever and change our lives. Almost exactly a year ago I lost the most amazing little cat I've ever met. I then lost the most wonderful perfect cat I had for 16 years only a few months later while I was still trying to adjust to life without my Ty. I'm lost without both of them and while having my other cats helps life is not the same. I've been thinking of them even more than normal because of the time of year and reading this blog post couldnt of come at a better time.
    Its comforting to know that I'm not the only one still grieving this much and still crying even though some time has past. I hope your dog Wicket continues to help you to heal.

  3. Rachael, I love to read what you say about Mowgli. I honestly don't know what I'll do when the time comes for Scout to pass...he's such a big dog that he's already more than halfway through his life...he's literally like my baby. Thanks for your blogs about how much you love your pets...reminds me I'm not the only one who pretty much views my pet as a friend and soulmate that cannot be replaced, and not "just a dog".

    I hope you continue to find the feathers Mowgli leaves for you!

  4. Your story is so sad, but it's also so sweet. I strongly believe that those we love never leave us. I know I still can hear my loved ones some days when I'm working around the house. I hear my grandparents a lot. It just goes to show that our hearts never really heal completely. I know your Mowgli is still right there with you watching over you. <3

  5. I've always felt the same way about my little animals. They teach you so much and you depend on them as much as they depend on you. It's so hard losing a them but just remember them and they will always be with you <3


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