Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Doing What I Do

I thought it would be fun to have some photos of me "Doing What I Do."
I think self portraits are very important..
especially when you are doing something you do. 
Being your true self.

I like to think this is what the canvas sees.

I have been busy lately. 
And I stay busy on purpose.
I work 3 jobs currently. 
I teach art, work at a flower shop, and run my shops and blog. 
Sometimes I get so stressed and tired, but I have to remind myself...
I chose this, and it's for the best.
All of this stress is temporary, 
and I'm in control of it. 
I'm in control.
I chose 3 jobs to get myself out of debt faster.
I chose 3 jobs to finish paying all the bills.
I chose this.
So, the only person I could be mad at is me...
and I trust myself to know, 
that hard work pays off.

Monday, July 30, 2012

If Misery Loves Company, What Does Happiness Love?

Misery loves company, and happiness is quite content on it's own. 
Misery feels validated if it's shared, but happiness infectious and uplifting.
Happiness is self perpetuating.

But the thing with happiness is that it's a bit unstable. Extreme happiness is a wild emotion, and everyone finds it differently.
Contentment is simple and it's safe.. but let's not strive for contentment all the time. 
Because happiness is just too good. 

Happiness loves noises and music.
Happiness loves company and friends. 
Happiness loves to be shared.
Happiness loves adventure and beauty.
Happiness loves laughing. Oh my gosh. I love laughing too! 
Happiness loves silliness and playing.
Happiness loves happiness. 
This list could go on and on.. but the most important one is,
Happiness LOVES.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thursday Threads- This Is Me

This is me.
These pictures feel very true to me for some reason.
I went out on a photographic adventure with a friend.
He agreed to take my outfit photos, and for some reason, 
I was smiley and giggly and goofy and silly.
Like I am always.
But I can normally pull myself together for photos.
Not this time.
He was able to capture the true Rachael.

And I can't remember for the life of me what brand of dress this is.
All I know is it was normally 64.00.. and I got it for 10.00.
To me, that's all the matters.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Looking Back

 As you look back on you life, you will sometimes realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected or you felt like a door was closing,  you were actually being redirected to something better. And doors were actually opening.

We can't control everything in our lives. Sometimes we just need to sit back, relax, and have faith that everything will work out. It takes a little while to learn to let go, and just let life happen.

The funny thing is, the things we can't change, end up changing us, and most times, it's for the better.

The only thing we can control is how we react to things we can't control.
The more you can adapt to situations in life, the more powerful the good times will be, and the more quickly you will be able to bounce back from the bad times. Being at peace with yourself, means being accepting of all that is in this moment. Right now. We can't control what will happen next, but we can control our reaction to it, which will alter our happiness.

If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never have enough.
Be thankful for the things you have, and you will end up having more. Happiness doesn't reside in possessions, happiness dwells in the soul. Success means something different to everyone. For some it's possessions and money, but we need to remember that the things we own, often end up owning us, and when you take things for granted, your happiness gets taken away too. Abundance isn't how much we have, it's how you feel about what you have.

Everything is as it should be. 
It's amazing how we always end up where we are meant to be. How even the most tragic and stressful situations teach us important lessons we never thought we would know. Sometimes the things we go through often teach us how to help others who are going through similar things. We are all meant to be teachers.

It's only when you are lost that you can find your true self. 
Realizing you are lost is the first step to finding the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don't want. Leaving those who don't treat you right, or who simply aren't "right" for you. Change is scary. And big life changes are even scarier. But, regret is scarier than change. "Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare."
Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.
One of the hardest decisions you will ever face will be choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward. 

Take care of yourself  first. 
Before we love others, we must first love ourselves. Before we correct others, we have to correct ourselves. Before we make anyone happy, we need to make ourselves happy. This isn't selfishness. This is self love, and personal progress. We need to balance ourselves before we can balance the world. How do you expect to lift someone, if you are not yet on stable ground? 

One of the greatest freedoms in life is not caring what others think of you.
As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. When you don't need anyone's approval other than your own, you own yourself. This one is a bit easier said than done.. Of course there are people we will need to seek approval, like bosses, and spouses.. but constantly wondering what others think of us. Changing the way we dress, or act for acceptance, that isn't freedom. I can think of no worse slavery than to alter your beautiful self to make someone like you.

We are not our past.
But don't judge yourself by your past. You don't life there anymore. Happiness is about finding a good balance in the past and the future..  We have to remember that too much thinking on the past causes depression, and too much thinking on the future causes anxiety. We need to find that good balance, and remember that everyone's balance is different. You can turn your life around in the blink of an eye, by making a simple choice to stand back up, and try again. Love again, live again, and keep on dreaming.

Everything is going to be alright. 
Maybe not today, but eventually. There will be times when it seems like everything that could go wrong, does. You feel like you will be stuck in a rut forever, but you won't. Storms happen, and the cloud does get hidden, but, eventually the clouds will part, and the sun will come out to  shine. Sometimes we need to stay as positive as possible to see the sun rays, but they always come back.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Quality Time

I spent some quality time in my studio the other day.
I worked with one of my favorite colors of the moment.
 I've noticed I've been using it a lot lately, so I figured, why not some more?
Roots and Rays
16x20 mixed media on stretched gallery wrapped canvas.

Monday, July 23, 2012


This photo was taken of me around this time last year.
What's funny is how similar I still look.
Like not a single thing has changed.
My hair is still the same, and everything. 
But, it's a ghost. 

You could look at this photo of me then, and look at one of me now,
and have no idea that I've cut my hair at least 20 times.
Dyed it pink, bleached it, dyed it and bleached it over again. 

You wouldn't be able to guess how much I've really changed, 
but also how much I've stayed the same. 
How "myself" I really feel..
and how "myself" I really felt back then. 

And then there is this photo. 
Of me and Mowgli. 
It was our time in Arkansas.
 Exploring an old abandoned cemetery together.
I took this photo out of focus. 
Because I knew at one time, that it would be a ghost.
The way that past part of me is a ghost.
The way Mowgli is now a ghost. 

We become ghosts.
Our past haunts our present selves.  
Haunting isn't always a bad thing.

Thursday, July 19, 2012


I woke up today with a clear head..
It's been a while.

It's been a while since I've felt myself actually.
And I really think my blog reflects that.
Mostly because I don't post much when I feel like this. 

When I don't feel myself, it's hard to get my thoughts clear enough to type out.
It's hard to express myself if I don't feel like myself.

I also haven't been feeling very creative lately. 
That doesn't help.
I hate that feeling. 

I cleaned out my studio to see if that would spark a desire.
It did not.

I started a new project to see if it would help my creativity.
It did not.

How am I supposed to be an art teacher that doesn't even paint?

I am so lucky I get to work in a creative environment. 
We've been talking a lot about color, color schemes and artists that use powerful colors. 

Today I was walking around class watching my students work on their Triadic Color Scheme Projects,
I sat in my chair, and was suddenly hit with the desire to create.
Sadly my next free day is Sunday..
Maybe I'll be crazy and stay up late. 
Then as Wicket wakes me up in the morning and tells me it's time for school,
 I can pull the blankies over my head and plead for two more minutes.

And I haven't had time to edit any photos...
and my phone is broken.. so there are no photos for a little while. 
Ah life.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Still Living

 I've got an awful lot on my plate lately.
Lots of change, lots of working, and bouts of bad luck.

I've been getting sick lately..
I'm not sure what's up.
I'll get random blinding headaches, and I get extremely nauseous.
I don't know what causes it.
I'm very careful with my diet.
I eat gluten free, and as organic as possible.
So, I'm really trying to figure it out..
without a trip to the doctor.
And without medication. 

Anyways.. I don't want to complain.
though, I feel I could list a whole lot of complaints here.
That won't do me any good.

I'm currently still adjusting,
still healing,
and still living.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Adjusting Sails

I have this incredible desire to follow my heart.
It's like a wind that pushes me to do things.
If something doesn't feel right, I trust my instincts
and I go with what feels right.
I feel like I am blessed with strong instincts.
We all are, but I know when to follow them.

This has been a hard week..
Brad and I broke up.
I won't go into details since it's personal..
But I'm sure people were wondering..
especially those who follow my facebook or twitter.

I'm adjusting.
Because that's what I do.
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be – Marcel Pagnol.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

My Tree

When I was growing up, I had a tree.
A beautiful apricot tree. 
The limbs were smooth from me climbing so often.
And the branches were full of my secrets.

Every time I visit my parent's house I feel drawn to visit my tree. 
And this last time, it was full of apricots.
I'm sure I spoiled my dinner by snacking on a few.
(It wouldn't be the first time.)