My Path

So, I had already had this post written out. 

I was sure I pushed "post." 

But it looks like it didn't get published.

Then when I went back to my drafts, and it was gone.

So, clearly it wasn't meant to be posted last week...

I'm rewriting it, and posting it for this week.

I think the post went something like this:

I've always had a love for deserted roads. 

Lonely, dusty roads that lead to unknown lands. 

 

Something about the unknown and the mysterious,

something about taking the path less traveled..

I just love it. 

And I think this goes a bit past finding old roads in the middle of a field...

The road less traveled in life is always a good one to take.

Well, I think so anyways.

See, I've always know I wanted to be an artist. 

I knew that was what I was meant to do.

And I've always been thankful for that knowledge. 

But there are several roads to get there....

I graduated high school and moved away to college. 

I studied art and art education.

I started dating someone and got married soon after.

Because that is what I was told to do.

Where I grew up, this is what society taught me. 

All around I was pressured,

to go to school, to get a job, to get married.

I'm not in any way saying this is bad. 

At all.

But this path wasn't for me.

So, I left college, moved around the country and spent some time finding myself.

 

Everyone around me kept telling me that I needed to start my life. 

I was told I was not where I should be in life.

Everybody had expectations that I hadn't met.

I was relentlessly questioned and judged for my "slower" progression in life. 

This convinced me that no one believed in me, or supported me. 

I felt like I was constantly compared to others.  

This took a big toll on my self esteem and thoughts about my self worth. 

 

But several years and self doubts later I decided to block out negativity from both myself and others. I silenced the voices around me that told me I wasn't good enough.

I started asking myself what made ME happy.

Eventually I divorced my ex, moved around some more and started getting serious about my art.

My happiest moments in life came from making art.

Staying up late, no direction, just painting. 

Though every path I've ever taken has led me back to art,

I wanted to take my own path. 

I realized that I was only trying to pursue other paths because that's what I thought I needed to do.

That's how I thought I would be accepted.

But enough was enough. 

I was done being "realistic." I was done conforming to expectations of other people. 

You can't please everyone..

True happiness comes from being content with yourself.

Being proud of yourself.

I'm so happy with the decisions I have made. 

All of the choices I've made that have led me up to this point.

I'm currently walking this path alone.
By myself, and beside myself.

Of course I have a cute little puppy who supports my kisses and loves.

I'm content walking this path alone.

Supporting myself.

And one day, I might have someone to share this path with.

Until then, it remains mine.