Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My Path

So, I had already had this post written out. 
I was sure I pushed "post." 
But it looks like it didn't get published.

Then when I went back to my drafts, and it was gone.

So, clearly it wasn't meant to be posted last week...
I'm rewriting it, and posting it for this week.

I think the post went something like this:

I've always had a love for deserted roads. 
Lonely, dusty roads that lead to unknown lands. 

Something about the unknown and the mysterious,
something about taking the path less traveled..
I just love it. 

And I think this goes a bit past finding old roads in the middle of a field...
The road less traveled in life is always a good one to take.
Well, I think so anyways.

See, I've always know I wanted to be an artist. 
I knew that was what I was meant to do.
And I've always been thankful for that knowledge. 

But there are several roads to get there....
I graduated high school and moved away to college. 
I studied art and art education.
I started dating someone and got married soon after.

Because that is what I was told to do.
Where I grew up, this is what society taught me. 
All around I was pressured,
to go to school, to get a job, to get married.

I'm not in any way saying this is bad. 
At all.

But this path wasn't for me.

So, I left college, moved around the country and spent some time finding myself.


Everyone around me kept telling me that I needed to start my life. 
I was told I was not where I should be in life.
Everybody had expectations that I hadn't met.
I was relentlessly questioned and judged for my "slower" progression in life. 
This convinced me that no one believed in me, or supported me. 
I felt like I was constantly compared to others.  
This took a big toll on my self esteem and thoughts about my self worth. 

But several years and self doubts later I decided to block out negativity from both myself and others. I silenced the voices around me that told me I wasn't good enough.
I started asking myself what made ME happy.
Eventually I divorced my ex, moved around some more and started getting serious about my art.

My happiest moments in life came from making art.
Staying up late, no direction, just painting. 

Though every path I've ever taken has led me back to art,
I wanted to take my own path. 

I realized that I was only trying to pursue other paths because that's what I thought I needed to do.
That's how I thought I would be accepted.

But enough was enough. 
I was done being "realistic." I was done conforming to expectations of other people. 
You can't please everyone..

True happiness comes from being content with yourself.
Being proud of yourself.

I'm so happy with the decisions I have made. 
All of the choices I've made that have led me up to this point.

I'm currently walking this path alone.
By myself, and beside myself.

Of course I have a cute little puppy who supports my kisses and loves.

I'm content walking this path alone.
Supporting myself.
And one day, I might have someone to share this path with.
Until then, it remains mine.


  1. I can really relate to some of this. beautiful post, and beautiful puppy. :-)

  2. I love that you put yourself out there and shared this with your readers! I know how you felt, trying to be and do what others want. Im going through that right now so i know its tough. Im glad your focusing on you and not doing what other people want!

  3. You look so happy in these photos! Have you ever heard how pets and their owners look alike? You and Wicket do! In the 13th photo you two have the same eyes and expression, it's so adorable :)

  4. I am so happy for you that had the courage to do this for yourself. It does take courage to step off the path and live your own way. Thank you for sharing your story x

  5. Thank you for sharing. I love your honesty and courage. You are truly a beautiful person inside and out.
    Julia/Philadelphia, PA.

  6. This post makes me happy. Happy because there is someone else who shares many of the same experiences as I do when it comes to knowing that Art was the path for you, dealing with negativity, and working through that and finding your own way.

    It amazes me everyday when I find someone who is in similar ways as I. I am so glad I have caught back up on your blog.

    - Amy

  7. Beautiful pictures. I hate that people think all paths should be the same. Live. Love. Grow. My dear.


Thanks for leaving a comment!
Be sure to leave a link to YOUR blog so I can come say hi! xoxo