Heartbreak

 Sorry for my absence.

I don't normally post about anything negative or sad. 

I hope that this will be the saddest post I will have to do for a very long time... 

 I just felt you all should know what is going on..

I'm home. 

Living with my family back in Utah.

I moved back home on Wednesday. 

I drove through the night with my little pup, stinky cat and all of my supplies,

I met my mom and sister in Albuquerque and we drove to Utah after 2 hours of sleep.

My husband and I have decided to split up.

I won't explain or go into details.

He isn't here to defend himself, and I just don't have it in me to explain it anymore.

(I spent a lot of the 15 hour car ride explaining it out loud to myself)

There are tears in my eyes as I type these words.

I'm not sure what I am trying to say.. I've been dreading this post all week.

But, I am here...

And I know,

life is hard, and everyone has to go through trials.

Everyone suffers, hearts break, and tears fall.

Life doesn't always turn out the way we plan.
Heartbreak is inevitable at some point in your life.
I guess it's my turn.

It is good to be home, but a very weird feeling.
Living in the same house I grew up in,
but it is no longer mine.


I feel like a stranger, sleeping alone, waking up alone.
I sure am thankful for my family though.

I feel as if everyone who sees me is thinking terrible things.
Moving back to the same neighborhood I grew up in... seeing the people I've known for so long.

I guess I feel like a failure.
Ashamed, embarrassed, small and broken.

 

I know things happen for a reason.

I will be back to myself again.

I will love life, take silly pictures, laugh, and create again.